- Thread starter
- #4,894
pinkfox
Super Self-Sufficient
thanks...
I think the help I need mostly comes in the form of medication LOL!
im pretty much at a mental mushy point...
my own moo is pretty craptacular...but last night talking my dad who im pretty sure is in the early stages of a total mental meltdown I just hurt even more seeing him hurt...
see he dosnt talk to mum because he knows shes currently stressed and still sore about leaving "her house" when they moved (not that she ever whent out anywhere o had local friens ect) so he feels he cant complain to her because he fees her bing upset is all his fault and him being upet is all his fault and (are we still onderng where all my depression stress and anxiety isues come from ?! lol)
hes ben in hong kong with work this past week...the house inct was supposed to close Tuesday but he was away and the buyer wanted the water turned on heat on ect for final walk through, so closing got postponed...
he gets back form hong kong whre hes been working from 8am to 11pm for the past week, totally jetlagged and full of the flu to find the driver (the company pays fo a hired driver for work trips) couldn't et up the driveway due to the snow...
he ended up havingto drag his case, along the 1 mile 6" deep snow covered driveway...the nextday they had to go to CT to get the water on check the house ect...get there turn the water on POW, pipeburt, water everywhere...he spent the day fixing that and ripping out soaked drwall, didntget home until 1am, had to contac te buyers ad offer them an extra $1000 atcosing if they tae care of the repairs (they NEED to close and get that hous sold...its been postponed like 6 times already and he cant afford anoher moth paying 2large mortgages...) next morning more snow, so he has to get up, exhausted, upet, frustrated stressed and SICK and snow blo the 1 mile driveway, and the salt it...
because apparently my brother and sister had their handsand feet chopped off while he was away and are ocmplelty unable t d anything to help.
my mum cant help, shes got double rotator cuff issues, and realy just cannot...
my brother (27) and my sister (21) however were at home doing nothing of importace and couldn't help...
why?! because my sister "has a cold anddoesnt feel good" and no one bothered to ask my broter (in his defene he is mentally disabled and has to be asked and given clear directions, hell help if asked, but while dad was out there oone even bothered to go say "hey go help dad?!"
im SOOO frustrated with both of them rightnow, steven at least pays his way but biz...she doesn't have a job (she has been looking but ya know) doesn't pay rent, doesn't help with food gets a fancy full servie cell plan, dads pain her car and insurance too and she cant eve get off he arse and help hm hovel the driveway?
after all that he got inside only to get a conference cal from work...by the time I got to talking to him on skyp he was 2 doses of niqil and a glas o scotch down, so upset and frustrated...
I elt guilty or not being there...
then my own mental whackadoo kickd n and I fel guilty for feeling guily! WTF?! I swear...
I tol him tat id happy ship him some of my happy pills, and he finally cheared up a little, I made him promis to call work today an tell them that hes got the flu and has no desire to share and is taking a few days off...
especially since they are supposed to have more sow over the enxt couple fo days...
told him no snowblowing, no work, no phone, just him, a bottle of niquil ad his bed for a few days.
why th hell am I the one having to be the therapist here...
all it would hae taken was fo those 2 lazy siblings of mine to get off their asses and floolw behnd the snow blower with a shovel nd sme salt...would have taken 1/2 the time and dad would have at least felt like people were payin attention and anted to help him.
no one even made him a hot drink when he came in...
GAH!
in the mean time, im going nutzo trying to figure all this out...betweenthe car and the how the hell am I going to move ll my stuff, and theselling of all te othr stuff,
I keep loking at rvs on craiglist thinking screw it, ill go steal one of them! (cause my credit is now officially all kinds of shot) I should have never traded my car, mabe it would have seen me throu the winter...who knows?! but it woudhave been 1 less stress and, and and...MY SKIN HURTS
*GAH!
anywho.
thankfully ive got a therapy apt tomorrow, gonna see if I can get something to help me sleep...
and im going to call the dr and see if they can squish me in tomorrow while im in town and see if they hav nay clue what the heck is going on with my body (I feel bruised al over and im not)
I know ive gained about 50lbs this winter, ive got to be up neer 200 again hic terrifies the crap out of me...ive just been lazy and exhausted to do anything and craving carbs like thyre lifes blood...
anyway.
in GOOD news...
little lop boy is going home this fternoon andtem in going to go hang with frineds atihop for a few ours tonight...ad yes despite my terrifying weight gain, im goingto order me some danged pancakes, this is my last week...Thursday ive got to run up to Jackson fr a few bits anyay so im going to pick up a new tub of protein sake mix ad im going to start from scratch wth the after surgery diet...
1 week shakes and fluids (broth, zero cal drinks ect) as a reset then ill start weaning out the shakes and adding in solid foods again...hoping itll reset my brain since food for me is very much a mental coping device.
I think the help I need mostly comes in the form of medication LOL!
im pretty much at a mental mushy point...
my own moo is pretty craptacular...but last night talking my dad who im pretty sure is in the early stages of a total mental meltdown I just hurt even more seeing him hurt...
see he dosnt talk to mum because he knows shes currently stressed and still sore about leaving "her house" when they moved (not that she ever whent out anywhere o had local friens ect) so he feels he cant complain to her because he fees her bing upset is all his fault and him being upet is all his fault and (are we still onderng where all my depression stress and anxiety isues come from ?! lol)
hes ben in hong kong with work this past week...the house inct was supposed to close Tuesday but he was away and the buyer wanted the water turned on heat on ect for final walk through, so closing got postponed...
he gets back form hong kong whre hes been working from 8am to 11pm for the past week, totally jetlagged and full of the flu to find the driver (the company pays fo a hired driver for work trips) couldn't et up the driveway due to the snow...
he ended up havingto drag his case, along the 1 mile 6" deep snow covered driveway...the nextday they had to go to CT to get the water on check the house ect...get there turn the water on POW, pipeburt, water everywhere...he spent the day fixing that and ripping out soaked drwall, didntget home until 1am, had to contac te buyers ad offer them an extra $1000 atcosing if they tae care of the repairs (they NEED to close and get that hous sold...its been postponed like 6 times already and he cant afford anoher moth paying 2large mortgages...) next morning more snow, so he has to get up, exhausted, upet, frustrated stressed and SICK and snow blo the 1 mile driveway, and the salt it...
because apparently my brother and sister had their handsand feet chopped off while he was away and are ocmplelty unable t d anything to help.
my mum cant help, shes got double rotator cuff issues, and realy just cannot...
my brother (27) and my sister (21) however were at home doing nothing of importace and couldn't help...
why?! because my sister "has a cold anddoesnt feel good" and no one bothered to ask my broter (in his defene he is mentally disabled and has to be asked and given clear directions, hell help if asked, but while dad was out there oone even bothered to go say "hey go help dad?!"
im SOOO frustrated with both of them rightnow, steven at least pays his way but biz...she doesn't have a job (she has been looking but ya know) doesn't pay rent, doesn't help with food gets a fancy full servie cell plan, dads pain her car and insurance too and she cant eve get off he arse and help hm hovel the driveway?
after all that he got inside only to get a conference cal from work...by the time I got to talking to him on skyp he was 2 doses of niqil and a glas o scotch down, so upset and frustrated...
I elt guilty or not being there...
then my own mental whackadoo kickd n and I fel guilty for feeling guily! WTF?! I swear...
I tol him tat id happy ship him some of my happy pills, and he finally cheared up a little, I made him promis to call work today an tell them that hes got the flu and has no desire to share and is taking a few days off...
especially since they are supposed to have more sow over the enxt couple fo days...
told him no snowblowing, no work, no phone, just him, a bottle of niquil ad his bed for a few days.
why th hell am I the one having to be the therapist here...
all it would hae taken was fo those 2 lazy siblings of mine to get off their asses and floolw behnd the snow blower with a shovel nd sme salt...would have taken 1/2 the time and dad would have at least felt like people were payin attention and anted to help him.
no one even made him a hot drink when he came in...
GAH!
in the mean time, im going nutzo trying to figure all this out...betweenthe car and the how the hell am I going to move ll my stuff, and theselling of all te othr stuff,
I keep loking at rvs on craiglist thinking screw it, ill go steal one of them! (cause my credit is now officially all kinds of shot) I should have never traded my car, mabe it would have seen me throu the winter...who knows?! but it woudhave been 1 less stress and, and and...MY SKIN HURTS
*GAH!
anywho.
thankfully ive got a therapy apt tomorrow, gonna see if I can get something to help me sleep...
and im going to call the dr and see if they can squish me in tomorrow while im in town and see if they hav nay clue what the heck is going on with my body (I feel bruised al over and im not)
I know ive gained about 50lbs this winter, ive got to be up neer 200 again hic terrifies the crap out of me...ive just been lazy and exhausted to do anything and craving carbs like thyre lifes blood...
anyway.
in GOOD news...
little lop boy is going home this fternoon andtem in going to go hang with frineds atihop for a few ours tonight...ad yes despite my terrifying weight gain, im goingto order me some danged pancakes, this is my last week...Thursday ive got to run up to Jackson fr a few bits anyay so im going to pick up a new tub of protein sake mix ad im going to start from scratch wth the after surgery diet...
1 week shakes and fluids (broth, zero cal drinks ect) as a reset then ill start weaning out the shakes and adding in solid foods again...hoping itll reset my brain since food for me is very much a mental coping device.
Hang in there!
I hope you get to feeling better with the new diet sis!
