Pink Fox: its Raining...IN MY HOUSE! :/

[pinkfox]

thank you *hugs*
im still doing everything I can to keep it together...
still nothing solid for dozer...

 

[pinkfox]

just checking in, no realy news to update with...
alive...

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Alive is good!

I was just wondering how you were doing. Glad you're hanging in there.... wish this were an easier time for you.

 

[pinkfox]

well dozer is having a bad day and has been effectively in his crate for mot of it so far.
whent after jasper this morning, then after a time out he whent after the puppy pen (he loves the puppies normally) back into time out, came out had lunch whent pee and riaght back and attacked the pen. thankfully the mesh of the pack and play the puppies are in made an effective barrier and his mule is too wide for his teeth to tear a hole in it (though he did pull a small hole)
but this leaves me with a messed up brain right now.

ive had no responces form most of the rescue centers.
the few that have responded all say either no room or not interested in take a dog with animal aggression issues...
had a few private emails in the first few days but noone responds to my replies...

called the local vets to find out how much to euthanize...
now I have to make a decision...do I wait it out till after the weekend, with him potentially being wors the whole time and being pretty much crated, or possibly having a good weeked and having no incidents at all...
or do I call and see if they can do it tonight/tomorrow morning.

as I told him to go to his room the 3rd time I could feel my heart tear in two...I don't know if he knows why hes going to his room, but he never gives me any trouble, looks at me like "ok" and in to his crate he goes...

I don't know what to do right now.

if I take him in they wil sedate him first then euthanie and they will take care of his body for me (I cannot dig a hole big enough for him) I think id have to drop him off and leave...for all I know this excalation is directly related to the stress levels increasing in the house...I just...I don't know.

if oly I could reachinto his mind, speakhis language and find out what the HELL is going o in that brain of his...
ive tried and I cant fix this...

to wait...or not to wait...that's the question.

 

[Denim Deb]

Pinky, I wish I had an easy answer for you, but I don't. Is there any chance WBF could take him now that she's living in a trailer? If she doesn't have a dog, he would be protection and company for her.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you...

If you wait it out and have a great weekend it might just make the inevitable harder - but, somebody might come through with a home...

Or, if you wait it out his aggression could escalate to another disaster.... Imagine how horrific for him to get to the puppies.

Or, euthanize now... takes away the option of another home, but also takes away the possibility of another disaster...

Not too many good options and I'm so sorry you have to make whatever decision you end up with - because anything short of a new home for him is going to be a heartbreaker for you.

 

[pinkfox]

I took him in to be put to sleep...

not long after that post I put the cresties in the room so he could have some ru time, didn't know dusty was in the house and I sat down, immediately she was on my lap and he came from across the room, whent for her, missed her but almost got my face...she did NOTHING to provike it and had I been 1" further forward in the seat...
I knew immediately that I cant risk THAT happening to another person...what if this excalated into resource guarding towards humans and he bit a person, or was out for a walk and hurt a kid ect...
I called the vet explained the situation they told me to bring him in. did a free check up to make sur there was nothing physically worng that ould cause the outbursts and the vets conclusion is short of something going on in the brain medically (brain tumor ect) its most likely achemical imbalance from bad breeding and based on what I told him and Dozers size and energy (if he realy wanted to attack a person theres no way the average sied person could stop him...) everyone ageed it was the best choice. I told him to be good and walked away. he was too busy loving it up with the vet tech to even notice.

they told me best not to be there for it as it would just stress him out by seeing me stressed, and they would be giving him a sedative first so he wouldn't feel anything at all...just sleepy.

I feel like I failed him, like some horrible monster...
but wherever ogs go when they leave this world I know hes now for acres and acres to run and run and run on...and I hope that whatev ails him in this life to cause these outbursts are gone completely when he gets to where hes going. I belive all dogs go to heaven, and Doer is o exception.

going to wallow in some peach shmirnof and a chocolate bar tonight while watching scary movies in bed...
its going to take a few daysfor reality to set in I think.

 

[Denim Deb]

Oh Pinky, I'm so sorry. Words are so hollow at a time like this, but be assured, you did everything you could. You didn't fail him and did everything you possibly could.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Ah, Pink... I know that had to be hard. But, I believe it was the right decision. You gave him the best life he could have had and even more importantly, you gave him the best release possible under the circumstances.

It takes a lot of courage to do what you did.

 

[Corn Woman]

I'm in tears reading this. So sorry for your loss Pink. Just know you did your best and that's enough. I know it hurts but he had a wonderful life,for a time, with you.