Gosh, QA, that must be really tough. This five months has felt like forever. I can tell why I made it through on the first try after reading through my medical file. I had everything except the records from my specialist (who finds me to be his ultimate challenge) so I knew his records would be supportive, but gosh you should see some of the quotes of what those doctors wrote. They were not only worried about my ability (mentally and physically) to work, but I saw my records included what is usually NEVER in a Meniere's patient's records.....physical proof of a vertigo attack (eyes showing "nystagmus"). Twice doctors who were examining me had that written down, and I have heard this is almost never part of anyone's record with my disease. Lucky me, I'm always the "extreme" case when it comes to this. And I suspect that the evaluation doctor they sent me to wrote something like "this is the worst case of Meniere's disease I've seen" because that is pretty much what he told me. Fun Fun Fun, I just love being a freak. The records could even detect I was spinning sideways, which is always the case for me. I was floored when I read all this and was prepared to do battle should they deny me. I had plenty of ammo. I'm really pretty ill for a person who does the things I do that I describe on this forum. I'm a person with more than the average share of mental fortitude and determination to not let this disease ruin my life. But unfortunately it has done a pretty fair job.
Actually I would do almost anything just to not have one of those attacks again. Or really hear the songs I filk.
But I need to not dwell on this, and I have that lady coming to look at the Buff Orpingtons in a few hours. I need to go "cut and brine" my feta and it looks like a bright sunshiny day here on Dizzy Dog Ranch. Only 71 days until I start getting paid now.......
But it feels like I'm getting paid to feel awful and not hear, so as much as I'm celebrating, it is a defeat too. I would never have chosen disability as the way to retire, it runs counter to my nature. I'm more of a worker bee and a talker and love to be in the center of a group of people....or did.
I think that is why you all help me so much. Here, where I can communicate and understand, I can be a normal communicator and a part of the group in the same way I used to be the part of groups of people when I could hear, use the phone and have normal conversations in groups. I cannot tell you all what a lifeline it has been for me to have you to communicate with especially when you are all so interested in what I am, and in my lifestyle. Since I can no longer drive I cannot just pick up and go visit a friend or call someone to chat.......
But you all fill in nicely for that. There is always at least one of you out there, listening. I just wish sometimes I could hug you all.