Ugh... Broke and struggling... Ideas anyone?

VickiLynn

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In Wisconsin, if someone is obligated to pay child support, his employer is required to deduct the money from that employee's wages and send it to the state.
 

Mackay

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If you are thinking of chasing this dead beat dad down I suggest that you think really really carefully about it.

Here is a guy that cares not for his children, provides no money, no love, no attention. Is this really the type of guy you want participating in your kids lives? Someone who is forced by the law to provide what is not in his soul to give?

If he pays money then he gets the right to see them.

What will children learn from a guy like this?

Only you can decide what is best for only you know all the details and ins and outs of the situation but from what you have written I would not want a guy like this within 10 miles of my children.

It was suggested that perhaps his parents may help. Consider again. What kind of parents created the son that is the biological donor to your children? Be careful.

He is a worthles so and so. What is the likelyhood that he will get worse as time goes by? Can his parents really assist you in protecting your children from confusion, fear, insecurity, and god knows what that he could throw your way over the years?

You made a mistake. Make not the same mistake for years to come. These children that you have are innocent and lovely spirits. Your first responsibility is to protect their hearts and minds. Believe me, it is really more important than diapers, phone bills, or anything else this guy might pay for.

Thats how I am inclined to see it anyway.
 

Wannabefree

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You could make your own wipes, and use cloth diapers. Lots of folks are doing this now. The wipes: one part baby shampoo, one part water. Use an old wipes container to store these. Make about a cup of liquid. Then take a roll of soft paper towels, fold each towel in half. When all are folded place them into the container and pour the cleansing liquid over the towels. The cloth diapers are pretty much self explanatory ;) They are actually better for babies skin too. Google cloth diapers and see if you have a service in your area that cleans and replaces the soiled diapers. It's usually much cheaper than disposables, and you buy everything to get set up through them. Or you could just DIY the cleaning and forgo the service. Either way I have heard it is cheaper. Oh, and that laptop would go if it were me..just sayin...IF it were ME :)
 

Bettacreek

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Actually, his parents are no longer of any help. His mother offered to watch them for me while I went to NY to wash tractors and make money. Three days into it (8 day long venture), Jason gets a phone call... Here it was my mother, telling me that I have to rush back to PA. Here, the slimey (lot's of names that cannot be spoken) monster had filed for EMERGENCY CUSTODY of my children. My mother was out of town, in Ohio, and had come back early, thank god, and got the registered letter. The letter was withheld until two days before the hearing. She had responsibility of mailing it, so she waited so that it would arrive the day before the hearing. We had less than 24 hours for me to get back from NY, hire a lawyer, and talk to Children and Youth (a requirement for emergency custody issues according to them). Here, the slimey monster (his mother) had filed the day before I dropped the boys off, claiming that I had abandoned the boys and moved to New York, was homeless, making the boys live in the streets, etc. Needless to say, when we got back, I was awarded full court custody of my boys (while previously the ex and I technically had equal rights to them), and the judge told her and my ex that even if I made him pay child support, visitation rights were my prerogative, and if they wanted to see the boys, they'd best hope to high heaven that I was generous enough to allow it. So, even with child support, he has no visitation RIGHTS. He is not entitled the children in any way, unless I say he can. His mother has been texting trying to see the boys, but I don't trust that *bleep*. I could throw her 50x further.
 

me&thegals

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Ditto on your own wipes.

Do you have to pay for your own food? Food is our 2nd largest expense (mortgage is #1), so I work really hard to get that one down. Eating out is a huge waster of money. Most snacky foods are way overpriced. Can you garden? Buy bulk from local farmers and put food up?

You've been given excellent ideas. I used a home computer and kids-at-home situation to do medical transcription. One year of classes (only Saturdays) and actually got hired while going to school. Anything like this possible? Or web designing or something via computer?

As for soap and body scrubs, etc., how about finding out what does sell and focusing on that? And give the soap a little time. I sold very little at first, but once people try it and find out it's a great product they will be back for more, even in this recession.

I think the in-home daycare is an excellent idea! One poster here named $s way higher than DH and I have ever made, combined, 2 jobs each! I'm sure it's very hard work, but it sounds pretty lucrative--assuming your parents are game.

Good luck and keep us posted!
 

sufficientforme

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RUN and keep RUNNING you are right about keeping your boys as far as possible from such chaotic/negative influences aka Grandparents in this case. Many woman before and many after will do a heck of a job raising their kids on their own and make something of themselves in the process! GET YOUR EDUCATION! You will qualify for grants and childcare expenses. Good Luck.
 

rhoda_bruce

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You situation is more complicated than I first thought.
Maybe you should consider getting with your county officials to learn of whatever assistance you are qualified for: energy assistance programs, commodities, etc.
And yes....have a garage sale, but to clean house as well as make a few dollars and then start getting your clothes and the boys clothes at second hand places. I go to the Catholic Community Center to get my clothes for .25 cents a piece and I am not in severe need. For me its just common sense. Why would I pay 15 bucks for something when I can pay .25 cents?
Be prepared......nursing school is tough and you will have to be tough too. Pray everyday for the strength you will need to go completely though the program.
It might not hurt for you to begin studying a little anatomy because all your other subjects will build off of your knowledge of the human body. Perhaps you are close to a nurse who can loan you her/his anatomy book for some light reading.
I would have to admit that the children I did have during nursing school missed seeing me a lot and even when they did see me, I was studying, rather than playing and tending to them. If you are prohibitted from working now, might as well be as productive as you can and use the time to prepare yourself for what is coming.
 

ALANB.

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Tanks Hill ; Gina has the right idea . your biggest expense in the Lap-top , What's wrong with a simple , economical P.C. , even a phone connection ? That's what I use , The Key word is cut down on expenses and "Wash" some diapers are you above that ? I'm retired on minimum S.S. but I have learned to survive !!! "GINA" Give me a HEY' please , Thankyou . I'm AlanB. e-mail to , bebop@i10net.com :)
 

rhoda_bruce

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I don't know about getting rid of the laptop. If she can get any type of helping hand until her parents can resume caring for the children and she can get a few months of work in before next July, to get back on her feet before nursing school, that laptop might prove to be very handy to help her with her studies. The school might allow her to use it for note taking and she can use her free time to throw together some ideas for reports she will have to do. I guess the main problem is getting the housing problem situated, so the grandparents can resume helping her out again. BYW.....my children who used cloth diapers as their primary diapers, potty trained faster and easier than the disposable diaper babies.
 

Bettacreek

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As I had said, the laptop and phone aren't necessary to my survival. However, I'm not willing to give them up. Nope. They are the two things that I have that are mine that keep me from going insane. The laptop has two payments left on it, and the phone is $20 per month. I'm not willing to give up the laptop and lose what I've already put into it. Once the laptop payment goes, the rest will be easy. Call me selfish, but I'm not willing to give them up. I'm just having short term issues for the moment. Basically, I will be fine within two months. Two months of struggling, in my opinion, is worth it to not give it up.
As for cloth diapers, my parents are much more willing to help out with disposable diapers and wipes than to "deal with" cloth diapers. Yes, I've asked.
 
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