What if DH/DW Couldn't?

[flowerbug]

OH - he runs errands! I hate to run errands so it's a HUGE bonus that he'll do them for me!

that is something i can do but i don't like it much and Mom is often out and about visiting her friends so she does most of the weekly shopping and then once a month or so we make a day of it and go out and pick up the bulk supplies.

 

[Mini Horses]

Well...I AM the only! I do a lot...not all perfect but, not bad either. I'm learning to do more mechanically than before but, pay if beyond reasonably workable. I do have oil changes done...lot easier. But other filters, plugs, lights, fuses, I do okay.

I fence, shovel, load/unload feed. All feeding, watering, meds etc. Castrate when needed. Assist any foaling, kidding...lots of experience! trim hooves...horses and goats. The tractor was a great purchase for me -- muscle when I need. I mow, brush hog, grade, disc, dig with backhoe..I even hire "us" out on occasion. Gotten pretty good at the hardest implement to hook up, bush hog!

Garden, can, cook....I'll butcher birds but, so far, take pigs or goats to a butcher. They are killed, gutted, hung and I pick up to cut and pkg. I'm cheap, not good. . I'm not worried about "doing" just what if I am the one who can't! I work at staying healthy as I can. Attitude.

IF YOU HAVE NO health or physical limitations, trust me, you can do many things you felt you couldn't! I know I could shoot and gut that hog if I needed to!!! I know I'm not as strong as a big, muscled man...that's why I have my tractor, Arnie....after Schwartzenagger


This is a good thread...everyone needs to consider these things, realistically.

 

[baymule]

I am on my own now. I suck at backing a trailer. I was just ok, but that’s something BJ was very good at, so I only assisted by helping hook it up, pulling the chock blocks. Now I have to polish up my backing skills. It’s been 25 years.

I have to make the coffee now. That was his job, and he brought me a cup. Often, he’d see my cup was empty and get me another cup.

We went together to get feed. Heck, we went together wherever we went. He backed the truck up to the portable building. I guided him and signaled when to stop. He set the bags on the tailgate and I picked them up and either filled cans or stacked them on a pallet. I’ll go get feed next week for the first time by myself.

He fed the dogs. I fed horses, chickens, sheep, pigs when we had them for the summer and I fed the Cornish Cross meat chickens when I was raising them.

City man dragged to the country, he loved it. He helped with slaughtering the CCX. I took them out of the transport cage and placed in the cone. He held their legs to keep them from kicking out of the cone. I cut their throat. I scalded, he picked feathers. I gutted, washed and put on ice. BJ was NOT going to stick his hand up a chickens a$$ and drag guts out. I did all cutting and vacuum sealing.

Tractor was mine. I abdicated my throne to do the ground grunt work because he couldn’t hold up to it. Last time, I was going to mow the pipeline, but thought better of it. I asked him to do it and I’d walk ahead to spot big limbs where lightning struck a huge oak. First rattle out of the box, he snagged the 2”X4” non climb wire with the bush hog, ripped a hole in it and bent the T-post. I have yet to fix it, but I will.
The farm was my passion and he grew to love it. I was happy and he loved me so much that he wanted what made me happy.

He helped in the garden, laying cardboard and driving the tractor to the mulch pile and dumping mulch on the cardboard. I did the rest, to canning, dehydrating, freezing. He shelled peas. He liked that.

I built the chicken coops. He was dangerous with a power tool. I knew what I wanted and how to do it. He had some off the wall idea he plucked out of thin air, that I knew immediately that it wouldn’t work. No. Then he defended his idea and we bickered. LOL

While BJ wasn’t a farmer, he was an extra set of hands. He was delighted to help and I often saved back things that he could do instead of doing it myself. I praised his efforts and he felt useful. We worked together as a team, his enthusiasm over rode his lack of expertise. He loved the farm, the animals and the happiness it brought me.

BJ took over the dishwasher, I didn’t do it right. He would clean the kitchen, his OCD tendencies made him darn near scrub the finish off the stove. He cleaned the bathrooms too. He could heat up leftovers and “fix supper.”

I sold my horses and gave away my laying hens. Not because I can’t take care of them, but I am going to sell the farm. Not because I can’t take care of it, because I can. I’m moving to a rent house on 2 acres my son has. I’m taking my sheep and my dogs. I’ll be 2 hours closer to my DD and family. It’s not permanent, I need time to figure out what I want to do and where I want to be.

I am moving my farm stuff. Tractor, implements, 500 gallon diesel fuel tank, stacks of used tin, pieces to a tunnel greenhouse, lumber, tools, a 8x12 portable building, Kawasaki mule, cow panels, T-posts and a lot more. I’m not quitting. I love what I do and will find another place. I’m down but I’m not out.

I am taking the winter to move stuff, I need to go paint the inside of the house that I am moving to. I’m decluttering the house and premises and getting the house and farm ready to sell in the spring. Then I’ll take my dogs and sheep to their new home. Maybe 6 months, a year, I don’t know. But I’ll figure it out.

The love of my life is in a cherry wood box on an end table with his picture. My partner, my helper, my everything is gone.

 

[tortoise]

mowing the lawn is the one task that when i moved in i told Mom that it was her thing to do. gradually i am doing more of it, but when the time comes and Mom is gone either i'm leaving this place or i'll not be mowing any longer. i'll turn what's left into gardens and just have the places left that i don't want to get overgrown brush hogged a few times here or there to keep the trees and shrubs from taking over again.

If I can't keep the farm (and I probably can't), one of my ideas is a tiny house on a small city yard, landscape/garden the entire yard so there's nothing to mow. Sure would cut down on grass invading the garden too!

 

[tortoise]

I am on my own now. I suck at backing a trailer. I was just ok, but that’s something BJ was very good at, so I only assisted by helping hook it up, pulling the chock blocks. Now I have to polish up my backing skills. It’s been 25 years.

I have to make the coffee now. That was his job, and he brought me a cup. Often, he’d see my cup was empty and get me another cup.

We went together to get feed. Heck, we went together wherever we went. He backed the truck up to the portable building. I guided him and signaled when to stop. He set the bags on the tailgate and I picked them up and either filled cans or stacked them on a pallet. I’ll go get feed next week for the first time by myself.

He fed the dogs. I fed horses, chickens, sheep, pigs when we had them for the summer and I fed the Cornish Cross meat chickens when I was raising them.

City man dragged to the country, he loved it. He helped with slaughtering the CCX. I took them out of the transport cage and placed in the cone. He held their legs to keep them from kicking out of the cone. I cut their throat. I scalded, he picked feathers. I gutted, washed and put on ice. BJ was NOT going to stick his hand up a chickens a$$ and drag guts out. I did all cutting and vacuum sealing.

Tractor was mine. I abdicated my throne to do the ground grunt work because he couldn’t hold up to it. Last time, I was going to mow the pipeline, but thought better of it. I asked him to do it and I’d walk ahead to spot big limbs where lightning struck a huge oak. First rattle out of the box, he snagged the 2”X4” non climb wire with the bush hog, ripped a hole in it and bent the T-post. I have yet to fix it, but I will.
The farm was my passion and he grew to love it. I was happy and he loved me so much that he wanted what made me happy.

He helped in the garden, laying cardboard and driving the tractor to the mulch pile and dumping mulch on the cardboard. I did the rest, to canning, dehydrating, freezing. He shelled peas. He liked that.

I built the chicken coops. He was dangerous with a power tool. I knew what I wanted and how to do it. He had some off the wall idea he plucked out of thin air, that I knew immediately that it wouldn’t work. No. Then he defended his idea and we bickered. LOL

While BJ wasn’t a farmer, he was an extra set of hands. He was delighted to help and I often saved back things that he could do instead of doing it myself. I praised his efforts and he felt useful. We worked together as a team, his enthusiasm over rode his lack of expertise. He loved the farm, the animals and the happiness it brought me.

BJ took over the dishwasher, I didn’t do it right. He would clean the kitchen, his OCD tendencies made him darn near scrub the finish off the stove. He cleaned the bathrooms too. He could heat up leftovers and “fix supper.”

I sold my horses and gave away my laying hens. Not because I can’t take care of them, but I am going to sell the farm. Not because I can’t take care of it, because I can. I’m moving to a rent house on 2 acres my son has. I’m taking my sheep and my dogs. I’ll be 2 hours closer to my DD and family. It’s not permanent, I need time to figure out what I want to do and where I want to be.

I am moving my farm stuff. Tractor, implements, 500 gallon diesel fuel tank, stacks of used tin, pieces to a tunnel greenhouse, lumber, tools, a 8x12 portable building, Kawasaki mule, cow panels, T-posts and a lot more. I’m not quitting. I love what I do and will find another place. I’m down but I’m not out.

I am taking the winter to move stuff, I need to go paint the inside of the house that I am moving to. I’m decluttering the house and premises and getting the house and farm ready to sell in the spring. Then I’ll take my dogs and sheep to their new home. Maybe 6 months, a year, I don’t know. But I’ll figure it out.

The love of my life is in a cherry wood box on an end table with his picture. My partner, my helper, my everything is gone.

Many hugs @baymule I'm tearing up reading about your teamwork with BJ and coping without him. I'm eager to see your adventures in the next year while you move and curious where you end up in a few years.

 

[tortoise]

Well...I AM the only! I do a lot...not all perfect but, not bad either. I'm learning to do more mechanically than before but, pay if beyond reasonably workable. I do have oil changes done...lot easier. But other filters, plugs, lights, fuses, I do okay.

I fence, shovel, load/unload feed. All feeding, watering, meds etc. Castrate when needed. Assist any foaling, kidding...lots of experience! trim hooves...horses and goats. The tractor was a great purchase for me -- muscle when I need. I mow, brush hog, grade, disc, dig with backhoe..I even hire "us" out on occasion. Gotten pretty good at the hardest implement to hook up, bush hog!

Garden, can, cook....I'll butcher birds but, so far, take pigs or goats to a butcher. They are killed, gutted, hung and I pick up to cut and pkg. I'm cheap, not good. . I'm not worried about "doing" just what if I am the one who can't! I work at staying healthy as I can. Attitude.

IF YOU HAVE NO health or physical limitations, trust me, you can do many things you felt you couldn't! I know I could shoot and gut that hog if I needed to!!! I know I'm not as strong as a big, muscled man...that's why I have my tractor, Arnie....after Schwartzenagger


This is a good thread...everyone needs to consider these things, realistically.

You are an inspiration! Thank you for sharing!

 

[Cecilia's-life]

The love of my life is in a cherry wood box on an end table with his picture. My partner, my helper, my everything is gone.

This. This was the sentence that broke me.

 

[baymule]

Many hugs @baymule I'm tearing up reading about your teamwork with BJ and coping without him. I'm eager to see your adventures in the next year while you move and curious where you end up in a few years.

We were a team in everything we did. We did have our squabbles, two head strong people. The farm was my thing. He would have been happy in town, in our old house, but wouldn't have been active like he was here. I do believe his health would have deteriorated. On the farm I was always dragging him into something and working his a$$ off. I'd look at him and tell him, "You're done. Go to the house." He usually was knocked out in his recliner when I went in later.

Oh, I will be off on new adventures. I have a LOT to do here and a LOT to do there. Don't know where I'll wind up, but it's going to be a wild ride.

This. This was the sentence that broke me.

A good marriage just keeps getting better. Not always every day, but skip a day or so, then catch up. There are train wrecks along the way, one or the other will derail. Arguments, mad, wanting to knock him in the head and tell God that he died....... Sometimes we'd just start laughing. We had ups and downs, but never turned on each other. You will have times in your marriage that everything goes wrong. Never blame each other, work at the hard times to draw closer together instead of letting things that go wrong in life drive you apart. Believe me, things will go wrong. It's what you do with hard times and how you treat each other that will make or break a marriage. As the years go by, you truly become one.

 

[Cecilia's-life]

Believe me, things will go wrong.

Things are always going wrong. We had an anatomy scan today that I’ll tell y’all about later. Still processing it myself.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

OH boy... putting on my "patience is a virtue" hat.