Beekissed
Mountain Sage
Oh, what bliss!!!enjoy the ride said:
What line of work are you in?
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miss_thenorth
Frugal Homesteader
My college education doesn't relly apply to this post, as I haven't worked outside the home in over 12 years, thanks to a hubby who makes enough to support us.
I happily call myself a hobby farmer!
I happily call myself a hobby farmer!
reinbeau
Moderator Extraordinaire
My midlife crisis career change was to become a Pilates instructor. I pretty much set my own hours, although this year I haven't had enough time to get much done around here, with building the coop and moving things around in the yard. Next year will be better....
BrookValley
Lovin' The Homestead
I'm a technical editor/proofreader/word geek. I'm admitting this, but please don't go proofreading my posts. I don't use spell check and I don't care where the commas land when I'm posting on internet forums. So sue me. 
I also worked at a show barn (horses--hunters) for several years and did a lot of riding, grooming, and training (training of kids, not so much horses). I also was the manager of a health food store for about 7 years, up until a few years ago when I left to get a "real"
office job. Don't get me wrong, I like my job (and the company is fabulous--I actually work mostly from home--they have been extremely flexible since I had my son) but I do miss the store sometimes. I actually still work there on the weekends helping the owner with ordering.
We have a farm, and while I wouldn't say it's a real business, I do breed chickens to sell and to sell hatching eggs. It's really just a hobby, but I do like to pretend that ocassionally the birds contribute a bit.
And of course, not to sound too cliche or cheesey anything, but my most important job is being a mommy to my little one, who I am home with most days.
I also worked at a show barn (horses--hunters) for several years and did a lot of riding, grooming, and training (training of kids, not so much horses). I also was the manager of a health food store for about 7 years, up until a few years ago when I left to get a "real"
office job. Don't get me wrong, I like my job (and the company is fabulous--I actually work mostly from home--they have been extremely flexible since I had my son) but I do miss the store sometimes. I actually still work there on the weekends helping the owner with ordering. We have a farm, and while I wouldn't say it's a real business, I do breed chickens to sell and to sell hatching eggs. It's really just a hobby, but I do like to pretend that ocassionally the birds contribute a bit.
And of course, not to sound too cliche or cheesey anything, but my most important job is being a mommy to my little one, who I am home with most days.
miss_thenorth
Frugal Homesteader
That doesn't sound cheesy at all. That is the only reason I became a sahm, My life is my kids. We only get one chance to raise them, and if we screw it up, it hurts them and us. And it is a huge "job"/responsibilty.BrookValley said:And of course, not to sound too cliche or cheesey anything, but my most important job is being a mommy to my little one, who I am home with most days.
When my kids were younger, my life was dedicated to them--not saying that it isn't now, but they are older, (10&12) and my dedication to their early years is paying off. My ds is 'spirited' and was a high needs baby/toddler. I shudder to think what he would be like if he had to be in daycare.
Not to mention that it just wasn't a choice for me and hubby. Our choice was for me to stay home with them.
FarmerChick
Super Self-Sufficient
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Hey BV--short for BrookValley--LOL
And of course, not to sound too cliche or cheesey anything, but my most important job is being a mommy to my little one, who I am home with most days
*******not a bit cheesey cause I quit work 3 years ago when Nicole was born. I was 43 when I had her and she became the priority. Lucky I could do it but I swear I work more home with the farm then when I had a 7-3 job..LOL
And of course, not to sound too cliche or cheesey anything, but my most important job is being a mommy to my little one, who I am home with most days
*******not a bit cheesey cause I quit work 3 years ago when Nicole was born. I was 43 when I had her and she became the priority. Lucky I could do it but I swear I work more home with the farm then when I had a 7-3 job..LOL
BrookValley
Lovin' The Homestead
I am a firm believer that a woman can have both a career and do right by her kids, but I knew the moment I found out I was pregnant that it wasn't for me. I actually sat down in my supervisor's office to put my two weeks notice in (I did try to go back to work--a couple of weeks into it I knew that my original gut feeling was right, I needed to be home with my son) but she offered to try to find a way for me to stay on board. Most of my work can be done from home, and so the company offered to let me go part-time on an as-needed basis. So, when there's work to do, I work. My mother keeps my son 1/2 a day each week and I go into the office to get a bit of uninterrupted work done then. Otherwise I work during the day when my son lets me and at night after he goes to sleep.
I lost all of my benefits going from full-time to part-time, but for the most part that was fine--I just went on my husband's insurance. The only thing I'm a bit sad about is now that I am a part-time employee I don't qualify to participate in the company's tuition reimbursement program anymore. I was planning on going back to school to finish up my degree the fall I got pregnant. For now, more school will have to be on hold. But I have no regrets, that's for sure. Being with my little one is worth it!
So I'm right there with you guys, FarmerChick and miss_thenorth. It was a choice we made and it's what works best for us! I can't imagine my son in daycare, either. I don't think that it would work out well for him. Actually, I forgot to add this to my original "what line of work are you in" post, but most of my education is in early childhood development/education, and I've worked in daycare/preschools. Really fabulous ones. And I still don't want my kid there. Not because I think that it is bad, just because I know it's not the right fit for my child.
I lost all of my benefits going from full-time to part-time, but for the most part that was fine--I just went on my husband's insurance. The only thing I'm a bit sad about is now that I am a part-time employee I don't qualify to participate in the company's tuition reimbursement program anymore. I was planning on going back to school to finish up my degree the fall I got pregnant. For now, more school will have to be on hold. But I have no regrets, that's for sure. Being with my little one is worth it!
So I'm right there with you guys, FarmerChick and miss_thenorth. It was a choice we made and it's what works best for us! I can't imagine my son in daycare, either. I don't think that it would work out well for him. Actually, I forgot to add this to my original "what line of work are you in" post, but most of my education is in early childhood development/education, and I've worked in daycare/preschools. Really fabulous ones. And I still don't want my kid there. Not because I think that it is bad, just because I know it's not the right fit for my child.
Beekissed
Mountain Sage
You all don't know what a blessing you have in getting to stay home with your kids. I am a single parent and every day spent at work away from my kids was torture....still is and they are teens and older. I guess I never felt like I was 100% at either place, as when I was at work, my mind was on my kids at home and, when I was home, I was always trying to get ready to go back to work.
To all you folks who have the choice and choose to work away from home, I have one thing to say. Yes, its a personal choice and you may feel like it helps you give your children more "things" or opportunities. But I will tell you this...there is absolutely no substitute for a mother being home with their kids. You can work all you want when they are grown and gone, if you feel like you are being wasted at home. These are years that you can never get back...ever!
For all of us who simply had no choice, well, we would have given just about anything to have HAD a choice. It is the single most important job on the planet~ being a good mother, and the world needs many, many more of them. To mold the future with your very hands...can their be anything more important? I applaud all the SAHMs who go against social pressure and norms, and have been made to feel "less than" in any way....keep up the good work and enjoy every last second of it! I would if I were you....
To all you folks who have the choice and choose to work away from home, I have one thing to say. Yes, its a personal choice and you may feel like it helps you give your children more "things" or opportunities. But I will tell you this...there is absolutely no substitute for a mother being home with their kids. You can work all you want when they are grown and gone, if you feel like you are being wasted at home. These are years that you can never get back...ever!
For all of us who simply had no choice, well, we would have given just about anything to have HAD a choice. It is the single most important job on the planet~ being a good mother, and the world needs many, many more of them. To mold the future with your very hands...can their be anything more important? I applaud all the SAHMs who go against social pressure and norms, and have been made to feel "less than" in any way....keep up the good work and enjoy every last second of it! I would if I were you....
miss_thenorth
Frugal Homesteader
Thanks Beekissed. I did receive a bit of flack and alot of ppl didn't understand how we could do it, or why I would WANT to do it, but it was a personal choice. It wasn't always easy at the beginning. Hubby didn't make as much money and times were tough, but our priorities were 'kids first'.
Kids still come first. And now that kids are older, ppl still don't understand why I stay home. I must admit, when we lived in the 'subdivision', it got a little boring during the day, but I volunteered alot, and i threatened hubby I would get a job, he was not going for it. The other option was to move us out into the country, and that;s what we did. Now my daytime job is my 'animal'kids, which still leaves me all the free time I need to be there for my kids when they need me. And living here enriches their lives too.
I admit it is not the best decision for some ppl, and its not an option for some, but it was the best decision we could have made. My kids and my husband appreciate it.
The other ppl who question my decision think many things.--usually trying to bash my hubby, thinking he is trying to control me, etc., or put the blame on our faith, thinking "I must be submitting to my husband, or think that I;m lazy and don't want a REAL job-- they just don't understand. The teen years are even more trying for parents, in different ways, and I want to be there for them during those crucial times too.
Like I said, we only get one chance to raise our kids--it is a serious responsibility. I strive to do the best for them I can.
Also like I said, this is a personal choice WE made. It is not for everybody, but it is for us. I truly believe my children are better for it.
Kids still come first. And now that kids are older, ppl still don't understand why I stay home. I must admit, when we lived in the 'subdivision', it got a little boring during the day, but I volunteered alot, and i threatened hubby I would get a job, he was not going for it. The other option was to move us out into the country, and that;s what we did. Now my daytime job is my 'animal'kids, which still leaves me all the free time I need to be there for my kids when they need me. And living here enriches their lives too.
I admit it is not the best decision for some ppl, and its not an option for some, but it was the best decision we could have made. My kids and my husband appreciate it.
The other ppl who question my decision think many things.--usually trying to bash my hubby, thinking he is trying to control me, etc., or put the blame on our faith, thinking "I must be submitting to my husband, or think that I;m lazy and don't want a REAL job-- they just don't understand. The teen years are even more trying for parents, in different ways, and I want to be there for them during those crucial times too.
Like I said, we only get one chance to raise our kids--it is a serious responsibility. I strive to do the best for them I can.
Also like I said, this is a personal choice WE made. It is not for everybody, but it is for us. I truly believe my children are better for it.
BrookValley
Lovin' The Homestead
Beekissed, oh I know, I am so lucky! At first we thought that we couldn't afford for me not to work. My husband has a good job but it's not enough for us to live on. Then we looked into daycare costs and discovered that we couldn't afford for me to work. Daycare was going to take nearly all of my take-home pay, that's how expensive it was. I would have been left with enough after each paycheck to pay for gas to get to and from work. That didn't make any sense at all. So we thought about it and decided that if I worked just part time at the health food store again (weekends, evenings here and there) that that would be enough for us to make it. Then my company let me work from home...so I ended up with two part-time jobs. Money is very tight for us, be we know how to live simply and we make it work.
And I also agree that there's nothing like being home with your kids, but I don't think that it's necessarily the end-all, either. I think an involved parent, whether you work or not, is what really makes the difference. So I know you would have liked to be home with your kids, Beekissed, but you did what you had to do and that's not easy...but your kids are better for it! You don't have to be home all day for your life to revolve around your kids, and it certainly sounds like your kids are the center of your world.
Like anything else with kids, it's all really a very personal choice. I can't imagine bashing anyone for staying home with their kids anymore than I can imagine bashing someone for going to work full-time out of the home. The whole "mommy wars" thing is really lost on me.
When I was first pregnant I left the barn that I had been working at. It was taking up too much of my time and energy and I didn't feel comfortable handling some of the horses there while pregnant. The barn owner gave me a lot of grief--to this day she still bad mouths me around our (very small) town. One of her remarks when I told her I was leaving was, "Oh, I bet you'll be one of those women, those women who stay at home and homeschool their kids and crap like that. Like you're the first woman ever to be pregnant on the planet."
I told her that I didn't know what I would be doing as far as work or school went, but I would darn sure be doing what was best for my child, regardless of what anyone else thought. Now this person is kind of, um, "special" like that (she was pretty much really mad at me for leaving the barn and her having to find someone else to pick up the slack, and she's just in general not a nice person) but I was still pretty surprised at the hostility I got for my choices.
And I also agree that there's nothing like being home with your kids, but I don't think that it's necessarily the end-all, either. I think an involved parent, whether you work or not, is what really makes the difference. So I know you would have liked to be home with your kids, Beekissed, but you did what you had to do and that's not easy...but your kids are better for it! You don't have to be home all day for your life to revolve around your kids, and it certainly sounds like your kids are the center of your world.
Like anything else with kids, it's all really a very personal choice. I can't imagine bashing anyone for staying home with their kids anymore than I can imagine bashing someone for going to work full-time out of the home. The whole "mommy wars" thing is really lost on me.
When I was first pregnant I left the barn that I had been working at. It was taking up too much of my time and energy and I didn't feel comfortable handling some of the horses there while pregnant. The barn owner gave me a lot of grief--to this day she still bad mouths me around our (very small) town. One of her remarks when I told her I was leaving was, "Oh, I bet you'll be one of those women, those women who stay at home and homeschool their kids and crap like that. Like you're the first woman ever to be pregnant on the planet."
I told her that I didn't know what I would be doing as far as work or school went, but I would darn sure be doing what was best for my child, regardless of what anyone else thought. Now this person is kind of, um, "special" like that (she was pretty much really mad at me for leaving the barn and her having to find someone else to pick up the slack, and she's just in general not a nice person) but I was still pretty surprised at the hostility I got for my choices.
