- Thread starter
- #2,141
tortoise
Wild Hare
I got more fussy with DS14's room when he was 7 because he would stash candy wrappers and rotting fruit and everything else you could imagine. (Cue insect and rodent infestations) One time I saw him spit half-chewed leftovers into a cabinet🤦♀️ hello, [undiagnosed] autism. He still has major food stealing/hoarding issues. (It improves dramatically when he doesnt have any access to packaged/processed foods.) I had to remove furniture from his room years ago. His room is just bed, hamper, hooks for clothes. He can't handle anything else.one thing important to me is that my space be my space. when i moved here to be with Mom the only way that is possible is that she doesn't get a say in how my room looks and she doesn't get into my stuff.
i'm a clutter kind of person, but i don't leave dirty clothes on the floor or wet towels rotting in the closet and i don't leave food on dishes laying around. i just am a horizontal organizer. out of sight is out of mind for me. so if i'm working on a project it is out on the desk or sitting somewhere where i can see it.
Mom will comment about the desk being full of things but while it may be layered and a bit dusty it isn't smelly or disgusting to me.
so perhaps the key for the kids to be clean enough is to say "I don't care what your room looks like as long as it doesn't have: X, Y and Z" and you can close the door the rest of the time.
this way it becomes less of a power struggle and you can let that energy go into more useful pathways? at least that is how i've been trying to train Mom. haha...
and of course, good luck, you'll need it, but with children at least you have a chance of getting some training into them. like, i can do my own laundry, i do cook and clean and know how to take care of things here, completely can do it all on my own and could from a relatively early age. i was almost orphaned in terms of taking care of myself when my parents divorced so i was forced to be on my own a great deal of the time, this was not a harm to me, it made me quite strong and independent. i knew when i needed help and could ask for it too but it also taught me about where my own strengths were (and still are). i still consider Mom my best-friend in this world and we get along great, but that doesn't mean we aren't quite different people too. so of course we do have our conflicts and arguments, but then we get past them.
DS6 doesnt have similar issues, but he believes he can't clean his room by himself. Its frustrating. He has storage drawers under his bed that he uses. He's okay cleaning up toys, but putting clothes away is hard for him.
