Dealing with MIL during FIL ALZ

[Lazy Gardener]

Now, the next chapter, which I expect will be a difficult one. But, you will all get through it, b/c you have a strong family unit: Helping MIL make the transition to widowhood. Hugs and prayers continued for you all, as you move through the mourning and healing.

 

[baymule]

Lack of respect does deserve a good butt kicking, but.....if you kick the crap out of someone, it splatters and you might get some on you. Wisdom wins the day.

 

[CrealCritter]

Lack of respect does deserve a good butt kicking, but.....if you kick the crap out of someone, it splatters and you might get some on you. Wisdom wins the day.

Oh I wanted to open up a big can of whoop ass on the jerk. My wife knew it... that's why she became my conscience so quick. So instead as we drove by him, I put some choice words on him that clorox bleach won't even wash out. She was fine with that.

 

[wyoDreamer]

It will be smart to take your wife with, it is good to have a buffer sometimes. She can distract while you do what needs done. DH used to take me with when he went to help his mom. I would distract her with other things while he tried to fix what needed fixin'. On the way home, we would discuss who worked harder while we were there... lol!
Alztimers is a horrible thing.

 

[Marianne]

Oh man. There's probably no way you could convince them that it's time they moved to an apartment/assisted living and sell the place?

 

[Mini Horses]

I quadruple what FEM has said!!! BTDT. Five yrs of mom here with me. I've watched from beginning to end. It is as crippling to the family as it is to the victim. It is nondiscriminatory and vicious.

My mom actually could NOT use a telephone, didn't remember how to -- same with the washer/dryer. As simple as reading & turning a dial, that recognition just disappears for them. Many to most find themselves "going on trips" and you have them wondering about. Their sense of time is shattered. They WILL rearrange everything, hide things, can't remember where/why.

It is mind boggling. I had to finally put my mom in assisted living. Could no longer care for her as it takes a 24/7 crew. Incontinence is among the things you face, plus many can't feed selves, etc. Mom did pass away 2 yrs ago, after a yr in such care. It has taken me all that time to catch my own life back!

Glad FEM suggested the bathtub slide chair. I had a huge walk-in shower, added hand bars, chair & hand held shower head things to accommodate mom.

Altzhimers.com...lists of what to expect, watch for.
A Place for Mom.com to help with free locator living facilities in your area & price range. BIG expense. Almost no funding unless you already had special insurance. Most don't. Medicaid will help pay but also takes assets and any SS or retirement funds. Medicare will not pay. Very complicated.

You all will need WAY MORE than these. Food choices years back could have helped. LOT of evidence about such. And, do I worry every day? Yes, I do NOT want to go that route. Told my DD -- check me in somewhere and walk! Don't go thru this with me if I can't avoid the disease. It destroys you.

I feel your pain. There is nothing good about this disease. No cure. Sometimes deferral but, little else. The brain is the issue.

 

[CrealCritter]

Here's a pic of the flipping tree, that's currently coming down, that a took yesterday. My buddy, called and said after he got in the bucket to get a good look at it that the trunk is full of many years of rain water. He was surprised it's still standing.

 

[Marianne]

MIL will hit the roof when she gets home, but taking down that tree was the right thing to do.
My SIL just left for home in another city. Her stepmom just died...and that family drama might be heating up. Agh. WHY???? My sister cleaned out our mother's house of anything with any value before I got there, then said she was just keeping it safe, then the ever changing story. 'Jewelry, what jewelry? I have no idea what you're talking about'.

Some people are just poops. I have now accepted that it's just stuff. I have stuff. I can always get more stuff. I'm even getting rid of stuff. I'm good.
Eventually things will work out. Take the steps you need to take to see about getting them into assisted living. You got a big heart, buddy.

 

[CrealCritter]

Your last pic of that tree looked much better than the first pic!

It sure does, I am SO HAPPY right now!

 

[CrealCritter]

That's wonderful! And don't forget that lovely home brew of yours, if it's ready I'm sure your Amish friends will greatly appreciate the firewood too. You can never have too much of that!

There you go...