Frustratedearthmother's Journaling Journey

[frustratedearthmother]

Just got back from seeing mom. They had her up in her wheelchair and said she had a couple bites if breakfast. She was whispering to me and at first I couldn't understand- but she said it again. She said, "I need to die." Staff told me she's said it to them several times today. She's ready-I told her it was ok...

I'm gonna go plant something.

 

[NH Homesteader]

 

[sumi]

 

[baymule]

I have no words.

 

[tortoise]

That's heart wrenching and profound. Your response give me chills and tears.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Thanks @tortoise

It's hard to see her like this and know that she's aware of what's going on around her and what's going on within her. I can be near her, dad too and her grandkids, but we can't help her on this journey...all we can do is try to support her while she's finding her way out of this world.

 

[sumi]

When my aunt thought my granddad was ready to leave us, she phoned me. I remember it was late night and I was in bed already. She put him on the phone so I can talk to him. He sounded so happy. I asked him if he's ready to go and he said yes, he's ready. And he sounded so happy! He didn't pass then, he hung on a bit longer and I got to talk with him a few more times, but when he finally did pass, I felt so at peace and genuinely happy for him. Those days were difficult for us and very sad, knowing he was leaving, but also precious. FEM, I wish you all peace and strength through this time, especially you and your dad, who are so close to her

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Mom is marginally better today. When I was at the AL facility yesterday I noticed that mom's urine smelled pretty strong... Mentioned it to the Hospice nurse when I talked to her last night. She's calling in antibiotics as mom is very susceptible to UTI's. No talk about needing to die today, she was responsive to questions, ate a few bites and drank a lot of water. Not sure she's totally turned the corner, but she's definitely not any worse. That's the semi-good news. The bad news is that she's developing a bed sore....

Only stayed a couple of hours today. Niece and nephew are there now. They said mom was up in a wheelchair and feeding herself.

Absolutely floored - but hopeful!

 

[NH Homesteader]

UTI's are rough in older folks, that can make a huge difference. Hope she continues to do well!

 

[baymule]

All you can do is take it day by day. You know we are here for you.