Ohiofarmgirl'sAdventuresinTheGoodLand-where ya been? whatcha been doin


Sipping Bacon Martinis
Aug 18, 2009
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It came upon me like a whisper I just barely heard... "go thee forth and dwell in The Good Land".. and then it was gone. Or maybe it was Toby Keith singing "I shoulda been a cowboy..." I'm not sure but either way, instantly I was transported out of my urban dwelling into rolling fields of hay and corn stretching as far as the eye can see. I could smell the good earth, feel the sun on my face, see the richness of the land. Suddenly the vision shimmered and shook and was gone. I returned to my Big Life.

But I couldn't shake the feeling that I should not be there in the city and I needed to go into the country.

Eventually I heeded the message and took up my tents and made my exodus from the land of Moab and went forth into The Good Land.

Gone were the annoying neighbors, the traffic, my cushy extremely good paying job, the vacations others only dreamed about, and much to my dismay the luxury-grocery-store-just-two-blocks-away-but-that-was-still-too-far-to-walk.....

Here in The Good Land I made my place beside the still waters. I became a tiller of the soil, a keeper of the flocks, and a hater of pigs.

Here is what I learned:

1. Hard work is hard. Cold is really, seriously cold. And you just might fall over in the heat.
2. No one cares what your profit margins used to be if you can't schlep that 50 pound feed bag out into your truck yourself.
3. You can't get good Thai food in an Amish town.

and most importantly... That my life will never be better than it is right now.

Welcome to my blog. I have to keep track of all this ridiculousness somehow and so here it its. But first, the introduction:

01. Name? Ohiofarmgirl or OFG or ohio.. whatever just dont call me late for dinner if we are having bacon
02. Gender? Female
03. Disneyworld or Disneyland? total disney junky.. disneyworld please
04. What is your favorite color? blue
05. What is your favorite kind of gum? ick none
06. How much do you weigh? normal - changes a little and depends on summer or winter....
07. How tall are you? short
08. Can you swim? yep, like a fish. open ocean please.
09. Do you like to swim? ocean only, no lakes or fresh water.
10. Living arrangement? Married to The Big Man, own our place, share it with The Insane Cat Posse and the dogs and the critters
11. What's on your mouse pad? dont have one. my laptop is in my 'command center' in the kitchen... so i guess its the kitchen counter???
12. Favorite board game? not a big game person
13. Favorite magazine? i loooove magazines.... Small Farm Journal is a fav.. i like the idea of being a farm pirate arrggggg....
14. Favorite Actor? whatshisname
15. Favorite Actress? i think they are mostly interchangeable
16. Do you have an accent? shhh... depends on where i am. i can 'sure 'nuf' and 'aint that right' one minute and 'dude' the next
17. Favorite smells? coffee. and one of my cats. i cant help it - i smell her all the time.
18. Least favorite smells? i'm allergic to almost anything scented...and then there is the whole pig thing.
19. Favorite sound? happy baby turkey poults...the peeping slays me....
20. Do you prefer pools or oceans? salty sea please
21. Do you watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer? nope but i love Serenity and Firefly
22. Pencil or pen? typing
23. Who's better - boys or girls? right now i'm sold on boys
24. Would you like to own a motorcycle? The Big Man has one. i'm more of a truck girl
25. Do you sing in the shower? nope but i sing almost everywhere else. badly. and loudly
26. Who's the best looking Disney character? simba
27. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? Get.Off.Me. <insert variety of cat's names here> or "time to make the donuts"
28. How many rings before you answer the phone? i dont answer the phone
29. How do you want to die? with a great story in a huge spectacle - preferably involving the circus, fireworks, and possibly a rouge elephant
30. Have you ever called a 900 number? nope
31. Gold or silver? yellow gold
32. Would you ever go bungee-jumping? nope. terra firma please
33. Do you like dressing up? no. i dont even have any nice clothes anymore. anything i own has to be poop-proof and comes off the bargain rack at Old Navy
34. Would you rather be short or tall? taller... but not hugely tall.
35. Do you enjoy reading? yep
36. What book are you reading now? Small scale grain raising... i told my sis i had my CORN book and she thought i said 'porn' for heavens sakes.
37. Favorite books? i'm a fool for any historical fiction about the roman empire
38. What was the last movie you saw? movie? who gets to to go movies???
39. Favorite movies? Raising Arizona, anything with Vin Diesel except that duck one...
40. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? no there are too many real cats in the bed!
41. What is your sign? the cross
42. What are your personality traits? i pass the smart guy test, probably have too much sass, will give just about anybody a ticket on the f*%! you train, but i can quote scripture, have a traditional marriage, and get all soft over baby ducks.
43. What's your biggest fear? that i left the oven on
44. Would you ever have cosmetic surgery? no way! i'm drooping all the way to the grave
45. Future child's name? Moby Obediah
46. Favorite foods? chocolate, coffee, tequila...occasionally combination of any two or possibly all three
47. Chocolate or vanilla? chocolate
48. Do you like to drive fast? yes but only in the big truck when i'm chasing down the prius that cut me off. the NRA sticker kinda scares them
49. Storms - cool or scary? non-tornadic storms - ok. weathermen screaming 'its coming its coming take cover' ....not so much
50. Do you like to dance? i'm a maniac in the hen yard. on the occasion of Michael Jackson's death we all the did the thriller dance..the hens rocked it.
51. Do you do drugs? heavens no
52. Do you smoke? never
53. What do you think of people who smoke? that they have never seen anyone die of lung cancer (i have)
54. Do you drink? drinkin' right now.
55. Favorite drink? booze? tequila. otherwise - coffee. strong coffee. preferable in paris avec un petit pot de creme...
56. Do you think men and women could ever be just friends without wanting each other? yes, but depends on the situation. my husband is a big red neck so none of my guy-buddies treat me like anything but a sister
57. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? yep!
58. If you could have any job you wanted, what would it be? farming! i'm doing it! they only way this would be better is if i were a coffee farmer in Kona on the Big Island of Hawaii
59. What's your "type"? white tshirt, aint afriad to work, unaltered fully intact man. nothing plucked waxed or highlited, never will have a manicure, eats meat, drinks beer. has a dog, drives a truck and yeah there is a gun in it, high and tight haircut done by a barber not a stylist, walks in a door and fills it. all other men look at him and wonder if they could take him in a fight, stands in the gap, voice so deep elephants on the other side of the world hear it, but never raises it to me, melts when the kitten snuggles him, thinks i'm funny after all this time, will never allow harm to come to me our ours thru action or inaction, fears the Lord but gives everybody else a run for their money. thats The Big Man. i am the luckiest girl in the world.
60. Do you bite your nails? with all this chicken poo under my nails? no.
61. Any siblings? younger sister and younger brother
62. What movies have you cried in? the end of The Chronicles of Riddick
63. Do you believe in God? always
64. Did you ever cry over a guy/girl? yep but never The Big Man
65. Have you ever stolen anything? nope. i dont do small crimes. if i'm goin down it will be for something big
66. Do you procrastinate? let me think about that....
67. Do you believe in fate? i think of fate as 'divine appointments'
68. Who's your favorite Sesame Street character? Bert. i think he's largely misunderstood
69. Do you organize your CD's? what are they?
70. What is your favorite kind of music? country or praise and worship
71. What are your favorite bands/artists? Trace Adkins, Montgomery Gentry, Toby Keith
72. What was the last CD you got? again with the CD's....
73. MTV or VH1? we get 4 tv channels during the day and 3 at nite. none of them have videos on them
74. Who do you admire the most? my grandma
75. Internet Boyfriends and Girlfriends? nope
76. Are you single? married
77. Favorite TV show? any of the dancing shows, crime drama, and wow i really like Fringe right now. catching up on Burn Notice and Rescue Me
78. Blondes, Brunettes, or Redheads? dark hair
79. Glasses or contacts? glasses
80. What color are your eyes? bluish grey
81. What is your natural hair color? brown
82. But what color is it now? brown with a few greys
83. Have you ever been in love? currently!
84. Any pets? 3 dogs, The Insane Cat Posse..and all them critters out in the barnyard
85. Good, decent, or poor grades? excellent. i'm an over achiever. not that it does me any good in the farming thing
86. Is the glass half empty or half full? full - but right now it needs more tequila
87. Do you type with your fingers on the right keys? yep - how do you type with them on the wrong keys???
88. What's under your bed? cats
89. What is your favorite number? 3
90. Favorite sport to watch? synchronized swimming

i like these added ones (with some modifications)

91.Kids? nope
92.Significant other's name? Honey
93.Do you like your parents? both passed on before i was 36 so i'm an orphan. thank heaven the county didnt come and take to me a home. not sure anyone would adopt a smart-mouthed 36 year old.
94.what kind of car do you own? 2 ford trucks, used to be 3.. but now down to two
95.Naked or pajamas? tshirt and underpants
96.Messy or neat? neater than before, basically still a disaster but i can find everything. Flylady.net helps me
97.Did you go to college? yep U of Washington
98.Do you work? my butt off!! we have the joke that he has the job but i'm the one that works! now, however, he's off work and he's my favorite employee. ok he's my only employee. ok the dog, technically, is my favorite employee but The Big Man does a good job too
99.Weirdest job? selling phone services to businesses. had the worst boss ever so i gave him the finger and quit. and then i understand i got him fired some how.... hum...
100.How old are you? 42? 43? i dunno... is it an odd or an even numbered year?


Revolution in Progress
Aug 3, 2008
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Southern California
I became a tiller of the soil, a keeper of the flocks, and a hater of pigs.


I am gonna enjoy this journal! :lol:


Almost Self-Reliant
Jul 15, 2008
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SE Indiana
Wow, some of your answers had me laughing out loud! What a fun journal....keep it coming...BUT, I have to know...why do you hate pigs!???


Sipping Bacon Martinis
Aug 18, 2009
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(groggily) What? wha....

(bleary eyed sees empty tequila bottle, finds self still in the recliner, tv on and for some unknown reason there is a little lampshade on one of the cats.... looks over and sees laptop open glaring accusingly....reads what is on monitor)


well i guess i'm 'all in' now, folks....

thanks for the fun replies. so i guess The Pig Rant is next.

but first

we hard working people of the world are getting cleaned up and heading into town! whoot!

and now there is herd of turkeys on my deck.. shoo! you ridiculous ostrich-like creatures!!!!!!


Super Self-Sufficient
Jul 21, 2008
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don't pig rant me, I know...LOL
with 125 of those suckers I hear ya loud and clear on the pig rant.

your journal is going to be hysterical.....and I wanna be a cowboy is a great song. you are "country" just like me!!!!!!

I love horses and have always had a ton of them but right now I don't. My last horse (spotted saddle horse, Peepers) got twisted gut. Horrible situation. Haven't gotten more yet cause Nicole was little. She is nearing 5 now. Time to buy 2 new horses for us.

Do YOU RIDE!! If you are country ya gotta ride!!! ya just gotta..LOL
Tell me you RIDE! Pleassee........

Hey do you write? honestly you could be a writer. do some small articles and such for country magazines. you would be great at it and earn money!! YOU GOT THE WRITING KNACK for sure!!!!!!

(psst...next time don't be greedy, screw the cat, leave some tequila for me OK?---greedy cat...LOL)


Always doing laundry
Oct 31, 2008
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I love this!!! You are my kinda gal!

I jokingly say I am married to a preppy redneck....he's into layering and looking "just so". Drives me crazy. But he works hard and is willing to listen to all my crazy ideas so I love him!

I can't wait to read your journal.....this is going to be fun!

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