what is with kids toys

[rodeogirl]

@crealbilly I don't know if they have the same store where you are but I got my little man a really nice pare of cap guns from linton's big r. Or maybe a feed store that has a toy section.
@Beekissed that's vary true no one I talk to can understand why I want a big family considering I come from a pretty big family. I also want a lot of property so more kids less work.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Maybe I am the odd one out here - but my reason for having kids wasn't so I'd have someone to wipe my butt when I got older, lol.

I think there are plenty of people inhabiting this earth right now. We are killing mother earth as it is and I saw no reason to do more than have replacements for myself and my kids father.

In my experience there's been one kid in a family who steps up to help with the elders. Just what I've noticed in the people around me. Not saying it's that way everywhere. But, that's why I'm making plans now to see that I don't do this to my children!

I'm living this drama with my parents right now because of Hurricane Harvey and I REFUSE to do it to my kids. It's not fair to them. My hope for my children is that when they get to the age I am now they do not have to worry about ME!

 

[milkmansdaughter]

I agree wholeheartedly @Beekissed and @crealbilly. I've worked with sooo many seniors who have no one to help. Their friends have died, their one or two children are too far away or have health issues of their own, (or to be honest, are too lazy, ungrateful or selfish to care). And the very few grandchildren they have are too busy with their own lives. And yes, this certainly is not the same world I grew up in. There's a lack of personal responsibility and the respect for others that is lacking everywhere now. I think it has a lot to do with the breakdown of families and family values in our country (but it's no longer politically right to call it like it is.) Not everyone CAN have several children, and certainly, not everyone should. But there are going to be a lot that could have who will wish they did further down the road.
@rodeogirl I agree with you too. It seems like more would mean more work, but many hands lighten the load (and can be much more fun!) @crealbilly I wouldn't trade my grands for anything!!

 

[milkmansdaughter]

@FEM, I agree with you too. I did not have kids just to take care of me when I get older. However, there are benefits to having large families that many people will never experience. And maybe I'm wrong, but I counted taking care of my parents as a great privilege, not an unfair burden.
That's a hard thing to see when it wasn't something you were planning on. You kinda ended up being a caretaker by default. It's totally NOT fair! It's derailing what you had envisioned for your family. (There is actually a lot of grieving that goes with that and I don't think you've had time to process that yet.)
I do think though that if your parents had more kids, that maybe you wouldn't be the only one really carrying this responsibility now... Hugs to you, my friend. You're in a tough spot and are handling it well. But more help would be good.
(My grandmother had 15 kids. When she was old, there were many to help and no one felt burdened. They took turns and no one family was turned upside down to help.)

My apologies to all for helping to disrail this thread. Back to our regular programming...

 

[Beekissed]

I agree. My parents aren't a burden to me, but a blessing. Imagine if Mom hadn't went on to have me, the 9th? There would be no one of all the rest that felt like that, that's for sure....they lived selfish all their lives and will continue to do so as time goes along.

I don't find it a bad thing to expect my children to care for their family members when they can no longer care for themselves....that doesn't burden them, it gives them a chance to think about others than themselves and teaches their children that same caring. It's character building and they will receive blessings in return for it, though they may not realize it at the time.

I didn't have children with an eye towards that end either but it still remains a fact of life that we all age out of our own care abilities eventually and the more children to share in the eventuality, the better. Any given time the caregiver may get sick or need to attend to other things and another sibling to step into the breech is a nice thing to have.

 

[NH Homesteader]

I guess I don't bank on my kids taking care of me when I'm old. Just like my parents don't expect me to take care of them. That's not to say we won't, but I don't think it's fair to expect your kids to take care of you.

My husband was adopted. He has 2 sisters. We are not close with his family, but we are close with family friends he grew up spending time with. I am not close with my brother, but I have a dear friend I consider my brother. My daughter doesn't need a million siblings to have important people in her life.

I agree our society has had serious breakdowns regarding family values, but also regarding friends and community structures. I don't expect to look back and wish I had more kids, I just want the ones I have to be surrounded by special people, "family" or not.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

I'm not sure where the idea that parents are a "burden" came from. I never said that. I consider helping my parents a responsibility. That is one thing I got out of my upbringing - I take care of my responsibilities. There are times when I think it's wonderful - there are times when it definitely is not. Last night I could hear a conversation they were having in another room. They were discussing the three kids they had. Long story short - my brother is a bully, I'm emotionless and care more about animals than people, and my sister who passed away was the only good child they had. Eh...wasn't the best thing to hear - but it doesn't change my responsibility.

Bee just pointed out the same thing that I said. Even in large families - sometimes a disproportionate amount of caregiving falls on one sibling. Not always, not every time, but my point is that it's not about family size...it's about who steps up.

In my mother's family - she took care of her mother - her siblings did not step up either. My brother has watched over my parents for years because they live next door to each other...he's not in a position to do that now. We ARE sharing the responsibility even though we sometimes have different ideas of what role the caregiver needs to play.

My son and his wife help me now. They have their own lives and their own place and their own responsibilities - but they help me with jobs that are larger than I can handle on my own. However, I do not expect and will not put the expectation of my personal care on them as I age. Just my philosophy - don't need anyone to agree or disagree with that. It's what I expect for my family and my circumstances.

Totally agree with NH that blood doesn't always mean family. There can be special people in our lives that have no shared blood - but do have a deep bond and will always be there for each other.

 

[Beekissed]

I agree! It doesn't always have to be family and most often it's not, which is lovely to see when it happens that way. I have many friends who have befriended elderly people and care for them when they don't have family or don't have family who cares.

I don't want my boys to care for my personal body either...have told them to let the professionals do that, but to make sure the professionals do their job. That's all I expect out of my boys...just make sure I'm not in pain, I'm not anxious every day and no one is medicating for it, and make sure I can poop. That's the three biggies in the nursing home. Keeping my chin hairs plucked is optional.

 

[Joel_BC]

Back to the original thread topic…

Seems that with a lot of us living sufficiency lifestyles, we find our way to improvise for what conventional culture and toy manufacturers don’t provide to us. (Beekissed alluded to this previously in this thread.)

So anyhoo, back to the regional thread topic… sorta. This guy has taught his nine-year-old daughter to do basic welding. She must have shown some curiosity or interest. I sort of doubt she had a toy welder at five years old—do the toy companies even make such a thing?—but who knows?

From post #17, https://www.garagejournal.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8779

Maybe nine is a bit young. I know I’d feel I should be supervising closely for a few years after.

As everyone posting in the beginning of this thread recognized, real skills very often start from childhood play.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Thanks @Joel_BC ! I do think that's a bit young, but with proper supervision... That will be a talented young lady!