What if DH/DW Couldn't?

[frustratedearthmother]

Beginning to think I bit off more than I can chew with this place. 🤔

Nah - you got this! It's just a lot of things hitting you at once.

Like the tower planter above!

Or, would she consider perhaps a "raised bed" of planters on a shelf?

Porch rails?

Or something like this:

Hope you can find a solution!

 

[tortoise]

I would keep her garden very close to the house. On a deck/porch. Or indoors. Getting to the garden was always the hardest part for me. After that, tolerating the weather/sunlight was a challenge.

 

[FarmerJamie]

Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. Added to the list

As I was out and about, started looking at options

 

[FarmerJamie]

Sooooo....with the new grill and needing to make room for the garage door opener guys to install a new opener (long story), we had to rearrange stuff in the garage last night. I did get her to help.

I think she is starting to get it with the amount of stuff we need to get through if she wants the car back in the garage 🤔

 

[Trying2keepitReal]

It would be difficult for me to do anything mechanical, it just doesn't come natural for me. My DH does pretty much all the fixing and set up around the house/property. I usually assist--his runner basically. I could probably learn to do some-like change the oil on the car or replace window clips or something but to try and do electrical or plumbing I would have to reach out to family/friends or hire from the outside. Living in the country I don't think that I could live without.

One the flip side, DH would say that he has NO clue what the kids schedule is, how they like their oatmeal/others favs or how to braid hair but he would manage.

 

[tortoise]

@Trying2keepitReal inspired this thread. It's something that's on my mind often.

My farm is very very good for my physical health. However, I currently could not maintain the property or our SS adventures without DH.

• Lawnmowing
• Pasture mowing / bush hogging
• Fencing
• Making hay
• Sorting sheep, catching and moving them, such as for shearing and loading culls/market lambs for auction
• Castrating lambs
• Trimming hooves (I could probably learn this I have done goat hooves a couple times, but no guarantee my grip strength is sufficient)
• Anything preventative health - DH is a veterinarian so I have never needed to learn anything about it.
• Harvesting and butchering - DH does everything from grazing to primal cuts. I can manage from there. I have done rabbits (hated it) and can do chickens after DH skins them. I can't pluck chickens because of grip strength, even the scalding them part is not within my abilities (we have a mechanical plucker)
• Cutting wood for heat, and getting it dried, and moved to the house, and moving more wood to the house in winter
• Anything outdoors in cold weather. I have cold intolerance and touching metal items in winter (bucket handles, hydrant handle, latches) is excruciating painful. This is why I don't raise rabbits, opening cage latches for daily care was too painful in winter.

I'm stopping now because it's difficult to think about everything I can't do (yet?) Maybe we can learn from each other an solve some of these problems so we are more capable of managing when our spouses/partners/family are unable to do their typical SS tasks.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

My situation is a lot like @FarmerJamie's. My DH's health is compromised (and he's a city boy) lol.

I do the majority of SS stuff around here. DH does what he can. He can ride the lawnmower and he can do some weed whacking - just not a lot at a time. He's burning some limbs now that the baby hurricane blew down a few weeks ago. But, all animal chores are mine, except he feeds the dogs when he can.

I take care of the electric fence and pen building. He usually hangs the gates with my help. Pasture perimeter fence was done by me, a neighbor and some students that helped me out occasionally. That was a while ago and hopefully never has to be done again, lol.

I buy the feed, I unload the feed and I feed the feed. I unload and move the round bales with my trusty tractor! I love my tractor, lol. I butcher. He generally does the shooting (but not always) and I carry on from there. I skin, I gut, and (clumsily) cut up the meat. From there I do the freezer wrapping to canning and until recently - cooking. He's been cooking lately and is getting really good in the kitchen!

I like to cook and when I do I am the messiest cook in the world. I use every spoon, fork, pot, pan but he cleans them all up for me.

I can even change tires, lol.

He does take a supporting role - but it helps me immensely. I guess if DH passed I could carry on. Would I want to.... dunno.

 

[tortoise]

@Trying2keepitReal inspired this thread. It's something that's on my mind often.

My farm is very very good for my physical health. However, I currently could not maintain the property or our SS adventures without DH.

• Lawnmowing
• Pasture mowing / bush hogging
• Fencing
• Making hay
• Sorting sheep, catching and moving them, such as for shearing and loading culls/market lambs for auction
• Castrating lambs
• Trimming hooves (I could probably learn this I have done goat hooves a couple times, but no guarantee my grip strength is sufficient)
• Anything preventative health - DH is a veterinarian so I have never needed to learn anything about it.
• Harvesting and butchering - DH does everything from grazing to primal cuts. I can manage from there. I have done rabbits (hated it) and can do chickens after DH skins them. I can't pluck chickens because of grip strength, even the scalding them part is not within my abilities (we have a mechanical plucker)
• Cutting wood for heat, and getting it dried, and moved to the house, and moving more wood to the house in winter
• Anything outdoors in cold weather. I have cold intolerance and touching metal items in winter (bucket handles, hydrant handle, latches) is excruciating painful. This is why I don't raise rabbits, opening cage latches for daily care was too painful in winter.

I'm stopping now because it's difficult to think about everything I can't do (yet?) Maybe we can learn from each other an solve some of these problems so we are more capable of managing when our spouses/partners/family are unable to do their typical SS tasks.

Thinking about this some more.

I could manage shearing day with a chute, or I could switch to hair sheep. I wonder if I could talk DH into switching to hair sheep in the next 5 years? If I had a chute, I could do hooves. I could try not wethering ram lambs and not tail docking. I can band tails on <7 day old lambs. I'm not convinced that blow flies are so prevalent that amputation is required, seems very odd to me.

We could investigate renting cropland for hay, and buy hay from the grower. But getting it stacked in the barn would still be a problem for me. I can only stack 2 bales tall and it I can only move a few bales in a day.

We mow pasture to control thistle and to improve DH's view for hunting. I think thistle could be controlled with a couple years of diligent work by hand or by mob grazing - need more sheep.

I would either buy split wood and pay for delivery or use propane, or some of both.

I guess I could buy a push mower - probably 2 of them. One to keep up the hill by the house and the other down the hill by the blueberries and garden.

I could/should practice trailer hitching and backing skills. No, it would be necessary - I would have to be able to back up stock trailer to be able to haul lambs to auction. I would probably sell DH's stick shift old pickup and buy an old pickup with an auto trans. A pickup can haul a lot without messing with a hitch.

This has been a hard thread to think about, but the more I think about it and read about how y'all manage your properties and animals I'm starting to think it might not be impossible to stay here.

 

[baymule]

At least you have him there to care for. I know you are counting your blessings.

 

[Mini Horses]

Unfortunately these events happen without warning or anticipation. Spouses, family members....you become caretaker and your life is changed forever. I've been through DH with cancer, passing. Several years later, mom and altzheimers for 6 yrs....5 here at my house. I can assure you that I do not want DD to have that with me. Everyday I try to stay strong, healthy and prep for all I can. The toll is physical and emotional...and often financial.