What if DH/DW Couldn't?

[baymule]

Just catching up on this thread. @murphysranch I’m so sorry that you are having such trials with weight, depression and general health issues. I’m glad you sought help, how is that going for you? @tortoise tagged me about your knee(s) but I never got it for some reason.

You are always so kind to others, so supportive and gracious. I would love to have you for my next door, er make that farm, neighbor. LOL

Yes, get up and exercise. Take vitamins and a B complex. I can tell a difference when I skip mine. Eat the right foods, a healthy diet will take you far and help you lose weight.

I make long lists of things to do. I break down each one into the steps necessary to get it done. I get great satisfaction from crossing them off the list. I truly believe I have attention deficit disorder as I get tons of things started and not much finished. So the list helps me see not only what I need to do, but what I’ve already accomplished.

So make yourself a good health list. Write down simple exercises on a daily chart, then draw a line through them. It will make you feel good about yourself.

You always send out hugs and gentle pats on the back. So I’m sending you a long loving hug and gentle pats on the back.

 

[tortoise]

@Trying2keepitReal inspired this thread. It's something that's on my mind often.

My farm is very very good for my physical health. However, I currently could not maintain the property or our SS adventures without DH.

• Lawnmowing
• Pasture mowing / bush hogging
• Fencing
• Making hay
• Sorting sheep, catching and moving them, such as for shearing and loading culls/market lambs for auction
• Castrating lambs
• Trimming hooves (I could probably learn this I have done goat hooves a couple times, but no guarantee my grip strength is sufficient)
• Anything preventative health - DH is a veterinarian so I have never needed to learn anything about it.
• Harvesting and butchering - DH does everything from grazing to primal cuts. I can manage from there. I have done rabbits (hated it) and can do chickens after DH skins them. I can't pluck chickens because of grip strength, even the scalding them part is not within my abilities (we have a mechanical plucker)
• Cutting wood for heat, and getting it dried, and moved to the house, and moving more wood to the house in winter
• Anything outdoors in cold weather. I have cold intolerance and touching metal items in winter (bucket handles, hydrant handle, latches) is excruciating painful. This is why I don't raise rabbits, opening cage latches for daily care was too painful in winter.

I'm stopping now because it's difficult to think about everything I can't do (yet?) Maybe we can learn from each other an solve some of these problems so we are more capable of managing when our spouses/partners/family are unable to do their typical SS tasks.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

My situation is a lot like @FarmerJamie's. My DH's health is compromised (and he's a city boy) lol.

I do the majority of SS stuff around here. DH does what he can. He can ride the lawnmower and he can do some weed whacking - just not a lot at a time. He's burning some limbs now that the baby hurricane blew down a few weeks ago. But, all animal chores are mine, except he feeds the dogs when he can.

I take care of the electric fence and pen building. He usually hangs the gates with my help. Pasture perimeter fence was done by me, a neighbor and some students that helped me out occasionally. That was a while ago and hopefully never has to be done again, lol.

I buy the feed, I unload the feed and I feed the feed. I unload and move the round bales with my trusty tractor! I love my tractor, lol. I butcher. He generally does the shooting (but not always) and I carry on from there. I skin, I gut, and (clumsily) cut up the meat. From there I do the freezer wrapping to canning and until recently - cooking. He's been cooking lately and is getting really good in the kitchen!

I like to cook and when I do I am the messiest cook in the world. I use every spoon, fork, pot, pan but he cleans them all up for me.

I can even change tires, lol.

He does take a supporting role - but it helps me immensely. I guess if DH passed I could carry on. Would I want to.... dunno.

 

[tortoise]

@Trying2keepitReal inspired this thread. It's something that's on my mind often.

My farm is very very good for my physical health. However, I currently could not maintain the property or our SS adventures without DH.

• Lawnmowing
• Pasture mowing / bush hogging
• Fencing
• Making hay
• Sorting sheep, catching and moving them, such as for shearing and loading culls/market lambs for auction
• Castrating lambs
• Trimming hooves (I could probably learn this I have done goat hooves a couple times, but no guarantee my grip strength is sufficient)
• Anything preventative health - DH is a veterinarian so I have never needed to learn anything about it.
• Harvesting and butchering - DH does everything from grazing to primal cuts. I can manage from there. I have done rabbits (hated it) and can do chickens after DH skins them. I can't pluck chickens because of grip strength, even the scalding them part is not within my abilities (we have a mechanical plucker)
• Cutting wood for heat, and getting it dried, and moved to the house, and moving more wood to the house in winter
• Anything outdoors in cold weather. I have cold intolerance and touching metal items in winter (bucket handles, hydrant handle, latches) is excruciating painful. This is why I don't raise rabbits, opening cage latches for daily care was too painful in winter.

I'm stopping now because it's difficult to think about everything I can't do (yet?) Maybe we can learn from each other an solve some of these problems so we are more capable of managing when our spouses/partners/family are unable to do their typical SS tasks.

Thinking about this some more.

I could manage shearing day with a chute, or I could switch to hair sheep. I wonder if I could talk DH into switching to hair sheep in the next 5 years? If I had a chute, I could do hooves. I could try not wethering ram lambs and not tail docking. I can band tails on <7 day old lambs. I'm not convinced that blow flies are so prevalent that amputation is required, seems very odd to me.

We could investigate renting cropland for hay, and buy hay from the grower. But getting it stacked in the barn would still be a problem for me. I can only stack 2 bales tall and it I can only move a few bales in a day.

We mow pasture to control thistle and to improve DH's view for hunting. I think thistle could be controlled with a couple years of diligent work by hand or by mob grazing - need more sheep.

I would either buy split wood and pay for delivery or use propane, or some of both.

I guess I could buy a push mower - probably 2 of them. One to keep up the hill by the house and the other down the hill by the blueberries and garden.

I could/should practice trailer hitching and backing skills. No, it would be necessary - I would have to be able to back up stock trailer to be able to haul lambs to auction. I would probably sell DH's stick shift old pickup and buy an old pickup with an auto trans. A pickup can haul a lot without messing with a hitch.

This has been a hard thread to think about, but the more I think about it and read about how y'all manage your properties and animals I'm starting to think it might not be impossible to stay here.

 

[baymule]

At least you have him there to care for. I know you are counting your blessings.

 

[Mini Horses]

Unfortunately these events happen without warning or anticipation. Spouses, family members....you become caretaker and your life is changed forever. I've been through DH with cancer, passing. Several years later, mom and altzheimers for 6 yrs....5 here at my house. I can assure you that I do not want DD to have that with me. Everyday I try to stay strong, healthy and prep for all I can. The toll is physical and emotional...and often financial.

 

[FarmerJamie]

A year later. Wow. I sold the Lindale farm, closed in 63 days. I worked on sons rent house that wasn’t fit to rent. I moved all my farm stuff that I could by myself. And believe me, that was a lot of trailer loads. LOL Neighbors helped me make a load of stuff. The buyers packed up household items in their cargo trailer and moved a load. Friends packed up another load in the cargo trailer and we moved it. Had to build pens for sheep and dogs, build fence. Finally moved sheep and dogs. Exhausted, I got Covid again.

Found a 25 acre farm with a 22 year old Doublewide in near perfect shape in April, finally closed July 15. I redid interior. Sellers helped me put up 2 long stretches of fence, they graze their cows on the front and back field, sheep have middle field. Moved in August 27, moved sheep and dogs next day. I still have lots of stuff at sons house. While I was there, I hired workmen and got it all fixed up.

Went to Tennessee with @Ridgetop and her DH to visit another BYH member and buy their ram. 1500 mile round trip. Had a blast! We rested a day, went to Austin area for them to introduce me to one of the best Anatolian breeders in the country and gave me their stamp of approval. He has 2 females out to be bred.

I’ve had a lot of loss. One month to the day after losing the love of my life, I had to put down Paris, 13 year old Great Pyrenees, who didn’t understand why her Daddy didn’t come home. My best and favorite ewe, Miranda, slipped and shattered her leg, had to put her down. I lost 5 lambs to various causes. When I had Covid for the second time, a registered ewe prolapsed, couldn’t get a vet out, too weak and sick to help her. Had a friend shoot her. My big baby, sweet Great Pyrenees, Trip, had cancer and was put down in July. It broke my heart that he never got to see the new farm.

I’ve really had it with loss, heartbreak, grief and death. I’m strong, maybe I’m taking a hit for someone who can’t handle it. So be it.

Had knee replacement surgery 2 weeks ago tomorrow. @Ridgetop and her DH picked me up at hospital, she stayed 3 nights with me. Lifesaver! Son came in off a job, was here 3 nights, gone again on another job. Have a friend hired to come twice a day to take care of dogs and sheep. I’m blessed. I fed dogs and sheep this evening but wasn’t up to dragging the water hose. I’ll get there. I’m taking Physical Therapy twice a week. It hurts.

Farm is beautiful. I got a lot of work to do, probably never get finished but that’s ok. I’m happy here. I’m home. I’m going to increase my flock to 30 ewes. Lots of fencing to get done. Can’t do it all by myself, I’ll figure it out. I want horses again. I’ve lived in pain for so long, I hope I can ride and not be in pain and agony.

BJ would have loved the farm. We were already thinking about moving here to Trinity county. Well, here I am. Tomorrow is a new day.

Knowing what you have persevered, I feel almost embarrassed with my issues.

You are an inspiration

 

[CLSranch]

A possible cheap way to insulate a metal handle is a piece of an old water hose split slid around it and electrical taped back up. I do this with 5 gallon buckets to make it bigger/more comfortable before the little white handle breaks and leaves a skinny piece of metal. Plus I tape the plastic handle before it breaks (well I try) so it last longer.

I find myself reacting to the fear I am getting drawn into the "no time for me" world. Even when I do just sit down and read, I feel guilty I could have been working on something.

The canning adventure was fun and I am glad I did it, but nothing else got done in the duration

Hang in there FJ.
I hate to say I feel bad everyday I'm home knowing I should've done more for the wife while I'm home to make it easier when I'm gone. Yea Bay makes me look bad too and I'm a young pup so I still say.
On the what if.... Either one of us would sell most of the stock. If I worked local I could take care of everything and work a 40 easy.

 

[tortoise]

My MIL lost her mobility rather quickly. FIL has never cooked or cleaned and he's learning. He still has her to watch and give directions. (What if he didn't?!) Never too late to learn. Caregivers is a huge burden - even harder if one has never done household management before.

 

[Hinotori]

My Mom can't really bend or lift much weight because of multiple spine surgeries. She has both knees and one hip replaced so no getting down. She's lost a lot of grip strength as well.

She gardens in large pots on the patio. Tomatoes every year and whatever else she decides to try. Herbs are all potted because she uses the heck out of fresh herbs.

Every spring someone has to help her lift each pot to the wheelbarrow so she can dump it it to loosen soil and add some fresh and some chicken litter. She sits in a chair at the wheelbarrow to do it. She can refill the pots but not move them when full.

So it is possible for someone to do a little gardening even when disabled.