What if DH/DW Couldn't?

[FarmerJamie]

A year later. Wow. I sold the Lindale farm, closed in 63 days. I worked on sons rent house that wasn’t fit to rent. I moved all my farm stuff that I could by myself. And believe me, that was a lot of trailer loads. LOL Neighbors helped me make a load of stuff. The buyers packed up household items in their cargo trailer and moved a load. Friends packed up another load in the cargo trailer and we moved it. Had to build pens for sheep and dogs, build fence. Finally moved sheep and dogs. Exhausted, I got Covid again.

Found a 25 acre farm with a 22 year old Doublewide in near perfect shape in April, finally closed July 15. I redid interior. Sellers helped me put up 2 long stretches of fence, they graze their cows on the front and back field, sheep have middle field. Moved in August 27, moved sheep and dogs next day. I still have lots of stuff at sons house. While I was there, I hired workmen and got it all fixed up.

Went to Tennessee with @Ridgetop and her DH to visit another BYH member and buy their ram. 1500 mile round trip. Had a blast! We rested a day, went to Austin area for them to introduce me to one of the best Anatolian breeders in the country and gave me their stamp of approval. He has 2 females out to be bred.

I’ve had a lot of loss. One month to the day after losing the love of my life, I had to put down Paris, 13 year old Great Pyrenees, who didn’t understand why her Daddy didn’t come home. My best and favorite ewe, Miranda, slipped and shattered her leg, had to put her down. I lost 5 lambs to various causes. When I had Covid for the second time, a registered ewe prolapsed, couldn’t get a vet out, too weak and sick to help her. Had a friend shoot her. My big baby, sweet Great Pyrenees, Trip, had cancer and was put down in July. It broke my heart that he never got to see the new farm.

I’ve really had it with loss, heartbreak, grief and death. I’m strong, maybe I’m taking a hit for someone who can’t handle it. So be it.

Had knee replacement surgery 2 weeks ago tomorrow. @Ridgetop and her DH picked me up at hospital, she stayed 3 nights with me. Lifesaver! Son came in off a job, was here 3 nights, gone again on another job. Have a friend hired to come twice a day to take care of dogs and sheep. I’m blessed. I fed dogs and sheep this evening but wasn’t up to dragging the water hose. I’ll get there. I’m taking Physical Therapy twice a week. It hurts.

Farm is beautiful. I got a lot of work to do, probably never get finished but that’s ok. I’m happy here. I’m home. I’m going to increase my flock to 30 ewes. Lots of fencing to get done. Can’t do it all by myself, I’ll figure it out. I want horses again. I’ve lived in pain for so long, I hope I can ride and not be in pain and agony.

BJ would have loved the farm. We were already thinking about moving here to Trinity county. Well, here I am. Tomorrow is a new day.

Knowing what you have persevered, I feel almost embarrassed with my issues.

You are an inspiration

 

[CLSranch]

A possible cheap way to insulate a metal handle is a piece of an old water hose split slid around it and electrical taped back up. I do this with 5 gallon buckets to make it bigger/more comfortable before the little white handle breaks and leaves a skinny piece of metal. Plus I tape the plastic handle before it breaks (well I try) so it last longer.

I find myself reacting to the fear I am getting drawn into the "no time for me" world. Even when I do just sit down and read, I feel guilty I could have been working on something.

The canning adventure was fun and I am glad I did it, but nothing else got done in the duration

Hang in there FJ.🤝
I hate to say I feel bad everyday I'm home knowing I should've done more for the wife while I'm home to make it easier when I'm gone. Yea Bay makes me look bad too and I'm a young pup so I still say.
On the what if.... Either one of us would sell most of the stock. If I worked local I could take care of everything and work a 40 easy.

 

[baymule]

Wow, almost a year since anyone updated this thread. Today is hard. Stuff I wanted to get done before the fair trip didn't get done. Stuff trying to get done weekly is way behind. "We can do it over the weekend". Wife is still crashed in bed this afternoon, just spent a futile hour in the kitchen, laundry is staring at me, leftover onions need dehydrating, the frustration is boiling inside me. Feels like work, take one day off, take two days to catch up.

@tortoise how do you do it all?

Thanks for the venue to rant.

Ok, so you do it all…… what if it were reversed? How do you think you would handle that? Be glad you are on your feet. Time to accept the fact that if you don’t do it, it doesn’t get done. Take a deep breath. Then accept the fact that you are not Superman and sometimes there will be things left undone. Take another deep breath.

Now take 5 minutes to thank God for every thing you can think of. Just 5 minutes giving thanks for positive and happy things in your life. It will make you feel better.

 

[tortoise]

My MIL lost her mobility rather quickly. FIL has never cooked or cleaned and he's learning. He still has her to watch and give directions. (What if he didn't?!) Never too late to learn. Caregivers is a huge burden - even harder if one has never done household management before. 😔

 

[Hinotori]

My Mom can't really bend or lift much weight because of multiple spine surgeries. She has both knees and one hip replaced so no getting down. She's lost a lot of grip strength as well.

She gardens in large pots on the patio. Tomatoes every year and whatever else she decides to try. Herbs are all potted because she uses the heck out of fresh herbs.

Every spring someone has to help her lift each pot to the wheelbarrow so she can dump it it to loosen soil and add some fresh and some chicken litter. She sits in a chair at the wheelbarrow to do it. She can refill the pots but not move them when full.

So it is possible for someone to do a little gardening even when disabled.

 

[FarmerJamie]

Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. Added to the list

 

[tortoise]

I've been thinking about this concept, but about income rather than farm chores. I'm starting a long education/career path that would gain credentials that would get me employed for about 4x my current earning potential. As long as DH is around I don't need it, but he doesn't take care of himself very well so I need to work on my Plan Bs

 

[frustratedearthmother]

OH - he runs errands! I hate to run errands so it's a HUGE bonus that he'll do them for me!

 

[FarmerJamie]

Same! It’s interesting some days 😂 I have lots of half finished projects!

Sigh... I think my days of playing with the littles in garden are over. I believe none of the kids want kids of their own. I am at peace with that

 

[tortoise]

mowing the lawn is the one task that when i moved in i told Mom that it was her thing to do. gradually i am doing more of it, but when the time comes and Mom is gone either i'm leaving this place or i'll not be mowing any longer. i'll turn what's left into gardens and just have the places left that i don't want to get overgrown brush hogged a few times here or there to keep the trees and shrubs from taking over again.

If I can't keep the farm (and I probably can't), one of my ideas is a tiny house on a small city yard, landscape/garden the entire yard so there's nothing to mow. Sure would cut down on grass invading the garden too!