What if DH/DW Couldn't?

[baymule]

Many hugs @baymule I'm tearing up reading about your teamwork with BJ and coping without him. I'm eager to see your adventures in the next year while you move and curious where you end up in a few years.

We were a team in everything we did. We did have our squabbles, two head strong people. The farm was my thing. He would have been happy in town, in our old house, but wouldn't have been active like he was here. I do believe his health would have deteriorated. On the farm I was always dragging him into something and working his a$$ off. I'd look at him and tell him, "You're done. Go to the house." He usually was knocked out in his recliner when I went in later.

Oh, I will be off on new adventures. I have a LOT to do here and a LOT to do there. Don't know where I'll wind up, but it's going to be a wild ride.

This. This was the sentence that broke me.

A good marriage just keeps getting better. Not always every day, but skip a day or so, then catch up. There are train wrecks along the way, one or the other will derail. Arguments, mad, wanting to knock him in the head and tell God that he died....... Sometimes we'd just start laughing. We had ups and downs, but never turned on each other. You will have times in your marriage that everything goes wrong. Never blame each other, work at the hard times to draw closer together instead of letting things that go wrong in life drive you apart. Believe me, things will go wrong. It's what you do with hard times and how you treat each other that will make or break a marriage. As the years go by, you truly become one.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

OH boy... putting on my "patience is a virtue" hat.

 

[tortoise]

Maybe duct tape would work better, or duct tape over a pool noodle. I don’t know how tough moldable plastic is and it just popped to mind.

I'm sure a pool noodle would work but I bet DH would take it off. That was my plan until I learned about moldable rubber.

 

[Hinotori]

If we had trees near the house, I'd have a moss 'lawn'. It's wonderful for strolling barefoot.

The lawn on around the house on all but the south side are full of moss here. It's very nice outside of summer.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

At least you have him there to care for. I know you are counting your blessings.

Absolutely! If I have to give everything up in order to give him what he needs there won't be any hesitation to do so. He is definitely priority #1!

 

[FarmerJamie]

Absolutely! If I have to give everything up in order to give him what he needs there won't be any hesitation to do so. He is definitely priority #1!

Such an apropos set of comments, we are at the 3 year anniversary of the wife's heart attack. Lots of new tradeoffs and changes in direction for certain. ❤

 

[Trying2keepitReal]

You're incredible. Your next year will be amazing 🤩

agreed amazingly strong woman-one that I look up to and hope to be like some day

 

[baymule]

Knowing what you have persevered, I feel almost embarrassed with my issues.

You are an inspiration

Your issues are real, they are important and in the back of your mind, that “what if” strikes terror in your heart. All I can tell you is make every day count. Y’all watching a chic flic together for the pleasure it gives her, the little things, the smiles, bringing her a cup of coffee, treasure these moments. You know what? You will remember those things and you will forget that last Thursday you didn’t sweep the floor.

Don’t feel embarrassed, I’m a freakin’ bulldozer crossed with a hurricane. Ain’t too many that can keep up with that.

 

[baymule]

You are just a blessing to every page that you join in.

Awwww that made me tear up. What a lovely compliment. Thank you.

 

[tortoise]

Use machines and tech as much as possible. Start with prep-and-forget tasks first: laundry machines, toss something in a slow cooker, start the dishwasher. Keep timers going (I use alexa devices so I can run multiple alarms and name them so I know what they're for).

To cope with overwhelm, as I see something I need to do, I add it to my to-do list (again, using alexa).

Then I use pattern planning to narrow down what I will do on a day. My bathroom mirror is dirty, but I'm not going to touch it until Monday. Mirrors on Mondays. Tub and toilet on Tuesday. Washing (towels, bedding, dogs) on Wednesdays. Food/fridge/freezer tasks on Fridays. Etc.