Bettacreek
Almost Self-Reliant
Ok, I'm sorry, but this takes the cake. Way too funny!Denim Deb said:
Who can come up with the wildest SS story?
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FarmerChick
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oh yea those stupid hogs can be very dangerous for sure.
none ever jumped again like this crazy pig
worst is working with the black angus. the bull is downright frightening for sure.
we had a hot air balloon land in our pasture with the angus. about 30 cows and the bull. the bull is a monster. neighbors called and we took a few trucks over and surrounded the balloon. the herd first ran WAY down the other side of the pasture from where the balloon landed....then curiousity of course brought that bull coming to the balloon. That bull was well ahead of the gals wanting to check out the balloon. I tell ya that pilot was crazy lol --but we got the balloon and people out of the pasture before the bull decided 'to do anything' about that invasion.
always something lol
none ever jumped again like this crazy pig
worst is working with the black angus. the bull is downright frightening for sure.
we had a hot air balloon land in our pasture with the angus. about 30 cows and the bull. the bull is a monster. neighbors called and we took a few trucks over and surrounded the balloon. the herd first ran WAY down the other side of the pasture from where the balloon landed....then curiousity of course brought that bull coming to the balloon. That bull was well ahead of the gals wanting to check out the balloon. I tell ya that pilot was crazy lol --but we got the balloon and people out of the pasture before the bull decided 'to do anything' about that invasion.
always something lol
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rhoda_bruce
Almost Self-Reliant
FarmerChick.......Thats wild. I don't think any of those people had bargined for that when they decided to go up in a balloon.
Beekissed
Mountain Sage
I've got so many SS tales it would take days to tell them. 
I'll tell a quick and funny one:
When my nephew was old enough to use the outhouse by himself but not old enough to use good judgement or not give into big curiosity(around 3-4 years)....we found a whole roll of TP tossed down into the...er...muck. We had lots of company coming and going that weekend, so no one really knew it who had done it. After the second roll was found tossed down, we kind of guessed it was the only kid left in residence after the company had gone.
My Dad told everyone that the next roll he found in the toilet, the culprit would be going down to fetch it out. Sure enough, we found another down in the sugar a week or so later...I guess the little squirt thought we had forgotten all about the others or just didn't believe his Papa would do it.
Yep...you guessed it~nephew was held by his feet and lowered into the sugar bowl to fetch out his most recent victim, crying all the while.
We never lost another roll.
I'll tell a quick and funny one:When my nephew was old enough to use the outhouse by himself but not old enough to use good judgement or not give into big curiosity(around 3-4 years)....we found a whole roll of TP tossed down into the...er...muck. We had lots of company coming and going that weekend, so no one really knew it who had done it. After the second roll was found tossed down, we kind of guessed it was the only kid left in residence after the company had gone.
My Dad told everyone that the next roll he found in the toilet, the culprit would be going down to fetch it out. Sure enough, we found another down in the sugar a week or so later...I guess the little squirt thought we had forgotten all about the others or just didn't believe his Papa would do it.
Yep...you guessed it~nephew was held by his feet and lowered into the sugar bowl to fetch out his most recent victim, crying all the while.
We never lost another roll.
Denim Deb
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rhoda_bruce
Almost Self-Reliant
Years ago, DH took a liking to Danish Brown Leghorns. I already had a few hens and a beautiful RIR roo.
We started having a problem with the roos eating the eggs. They were caught doing it, so we knew it was them. DH decided that the reason was because each roo thought that egg was fertilized by the other roo, so he was eating it because of jealousy. I told him that was so stupid....as if a roo can think that much into the problem. He said one of the roos had to go, so I told him, "Fine. Kill your rooster." He refused to kill his and I refused to let him kill mine.
At this time, he didn't want me to kill and clean any of our chickens anymore because they tasted funny. He complained they didn't taste like the ones from the store. Said they were wilder and tougher......I now know the reason is because I didn't bleed them to kill and because I didn't wait 3 days in the fridge.....so I had been buying store bought chickens.
One the day I need to tell you about, it was HOT. I'm not talking your average hot. I mean deep south, middle of summer, sun high in the sky hot. We couldn't afford to keep the AC's on and I was a stay at home mom, who tended kids, food, gardens, etc....Well DH came home for lunch and afterwards was cleaning his 20 gauge. I just figured he wanted it ready for the fall, when he would go rabbit hunting. So he was aiming out the front door, which was wide open.....then he shot!!!! Scared me half to death. Guess what he shot...MY ROOSTER!!!! I looked at him and he was jumping all over the place and had been standing in front of a clay pot, which scattered. I screamed,"You shot my rooster!" and he just said,"Well one of them had to die." So I said,"Why you didn't kill your stupid rooster?" He just said, "Well one of them had to go so I killed yours, now get rid of it. I'll see you this afternoon." and he left.
Well, my rooster jumped himself right under the house, outta reach (which is why he didn't catch it himself), so I grabbed a paper bag and crawled under the house and fetched my roo. I was still talking, as if to DH with kids (babies then) sitting on steps watching me. I said,"Gerard, you killed my rooster; but you gonna eat him!!!" and I started plucking.
While I plucked, I began conspiring about how I will get away with my plan to feed my murdered chicken to him. I knew I couldn't just serve up chicken that night because he would know, so I had to wait. I also knew I had to remove as much blood from the meat as I could or he would taste that it was ours, so I soaked the cut up pieces in cold water, which I changed a few times. Then I mixed some egg, mustard, beer, milk and oriental seasonings together and put it all in an icecream bucket and dropped Toby in and hid him as far in back of the fridge as possible, with a bunch of stuff blocking the view.
MIL called asking me how I was doing...DH had to bring his car to her house and walk to work from there, so he admitted to her that he had killed my roo and she told him he shouldn't have done it. I didn't tell her that I planned on feeding her son a murdered roo in 4 days.
FF to day 4...It was again hot and the house was opened. DH was eating his 4th piece of fried chicken and his stupid Leghorn jumped up on the top step leading to the house. I looked at that chicken and said,"I can't stand you and I'll tell you another thing. I wish it was you he was eating, instead of my rooster." Then I looked at him and he stopped on the bite he was taking and looked at me and said,"You didn't." to which I said, "I most certainly did."
Well he acted like he knew all the time, but he didn't. A few days later, I told MIL what happened and the poor woman almost choked. FIL came home from trawling and was helping DH with some yard work and DH was upset with the dog and said he was going to kill it.......so FIL says, in a quiet kinda way,"You betta watch out. She might feed him to you." We all got a lot more humor out of it than DH though.
We started having a problem with the roos eating the eggs. They were caught doing it, so we knew it was them. DH decided that the reason was because each roo thought that egg was fertilized by the other roo, so he was eating it because of jealousy. I told him that was so stupid....as if a roo can think that much into the problem. He said one of the roos had to go, so I told him, "Fine. Kill your rooster." He refused to kill his and I refused to let him kill mine.
At this time, he didn't want me to kill and clean any of our chickens anymore because they tasted funny. He complained they didn't taste like the ones from the store. Said they were wilder and tougher......I now know the reason is because I didn't bleed them to kill and because I didn't wait 3 days in the fridge.....so I had been buying store bought chickens.
One the day I need to tell you about, it was HOT. I'm not talking your average hot. I mean deep south, middle of summer, sun high in the sky hot. We couldn't afford to keep the AC's on and I was a stay at home mom, who tended kids, food, gardens, etc....Well DH came home for lunch and afterwards was cleaning his 20 gauge. I just figured he wanted it ready for the fall, when he would go rabbit hunting. So he was aiming out the front door, which was wide open.....then he shot!!!! Scared me half to death. Guess what he shot...MY ROOSTER!!!! I looked at him and he was jumping all over the place and had been standing in front of a clay pot, which scattered. I screamed,"You shot my rooster!" and he just said,"Well one of them had to die." So I said,"Why you didn't kill your stupid rooster?" He just said, "Well one of them had to go so I killed yours, now get rid of it. I'll see you this afternoon." and he left.
Well, my rooster jumped himself right under the house, outta reach (which is why he didn't catch it himself), so I grabbed a paper bag and crawled under the house and fetched my roo. I was still talking, as if to DH with kids (babies then) sitting on steps watching me. I said,"Gerard, you killed my rooster; but you gonna eat him!!!" and I started plucking.
While I plucked, I began conspiring about how I will get away with my plan to feed my murdered chicken to him. I knew I couldn't just serve up chicken that night because he would know, so I had to wait. I also knew I had to remove as much blood from the meat as I could or he would taste that it was ours, so I soaked the cut up pieces in cold water, which I changed a few times. Then I mixed some egg, mustard, beer, milk and oriental seasonings together and put it all in an icecream bucket and dropped Toby in and hid him as far in back of the fridge as possible, with a bunch of stuff blocking the view.
MIL called asking me how I was doing...DH had to bring his car to her house and walk to work from there, so he admitted to her that he had killed my roo and she told him he shouldn't have done it. I didn't tell her that I planned on feeding her son a murdered roo in 4 days.
FF to day 4...It was again hot and the house was opened. DH was eating his 4th piece of fried chicken and his stupid Leghorn jumped up on the top step leading to the house. I looked at that chicken and said,"I can't stand you and I'll tell you another thing. I wish it was you he was eating, instead of my rooster." Then I looked at him and he stopped on the bite he was taking and looked at me and said,"You didn't." to which I said, "I most certainly did."
Well he acted like he knew all the time, but he didn't. A few days later, I told MIL what happened and the poor woman almost choked. FIL came home from trawling and was helping DH with some yard work and DH was upset with the dog and said he was going to kill it.......so FIL says, in a quiet kinda way,"You betta watch out. She might feed him to you." We all got a lot more humor out of it than DH though.
Beekissed
Mountain Sage
Excellent story!!!
snapshot
Farmwife
Yes!!!! Just perfect!!!!!!!Beekissed said:
the funny farm6
Super Self-Sufficient
OMG! I can't tell you how many times I have told my husband to keep an eye on his dog becouse the only use he has is to be eaten! (He is a english bulldog) he is stupid, ugly, and did I say stupid?
I was sitting in at the computer desk one day and I heard a car horn honk. (Our house sits off the road quite a bit). Then again, again... so I got up and looked out the window. And there is a truck stopped up by the mailbox. So I wonder why is that big truck up there honking? And by big truck I mean full size 4X4 duly double cab with a lift kit and HUGE tires! So I go out on the porch , and they are still honking. So I start up the driveway. And finally I see the problem... there is my husbands stupid dog SITTING in the middle of the road, tounge out panting, like he is smiling and looking up at this truck. And he WON'T MOVE! I keep yelling his name and finaly scream "hey retard!" And he looks at me and comes walking up the driveway.
This is the same dog that used to lick the electric wall outlits as a puppy!
I hate that dog!
I was sitting in at the computer desk one day and I heard a car horn honk. (Our house sits off the road quite a bit). Then again, again... so I got up and looked out the window. And there is a truck stopped up by the mailbox. So I wonder why is that big truck up there honking? And by big truck I mean full size 4X4 duly double cab with a lift kit and HUGE tires! So I go out on the porch , and they are still honking. So I start up the driveway. And finally I see the problem... there is my husbands stupid dog SITTING in the middle of the road, tounge out panting, like he is smiling and looking up at this truck. And he WON'T MOVE! I keep yelling his name and finaly scream "hey retard!" And he looks at me and comes walking up the driveway.
This is the same dog that used to lick the electric wall outlits as a puppy!
I hate that dog!
Beekissed
Mountain Sage
Start cleanin' yer shotgun.....
