Who can come up with the wildest SS story?

[Beekissed]

I've used a sawsall to cut up carcasses... Works soooooooo much better than a hack saw.

 

[rhoda_bruce]

This is not funny at all, but it is wild. Some of you might be about to lose all respect for me too. IDK....Look, it rained night b4 last and then last night too.....over 5 inches last night alone. Well I had wanted to kill some broilers 3 days ago, b4 my work week started, but DH was acting like he was the man (&^%$ing *(^%)...well he insisted it wasn't a day to do that.....we had a few words and I went out shopping.
Well back to now.....rain, right??? Well the poor animals were in muddy filth. I grabbed the rooster and put him to slaughter. I had him hanging in the cone and made what I felt was a fatal cut. He bled enough to kill a chicken.......so why wasn't he dying??? IDK. When I though for sure he had bled enough to just hang around, I let him go and he flipped himself over. I pulled him out. He had strength to stand up. I brought him to my outside kitchen and made another successful cut, resulting in the lose of lots of blood. I had his head low.......still alive. I put him in an old tub and started hosing him, because he was filthy.....still alive. I left him a while.....killed a female, washed her......he is still alive. I put the female in the sink to gut and cut........I give up!!!! I took a big pruning shears to his neck and finished the job.
I'm freaked out. I've killed my share of birds. How can a bird stay alive with pretty much all its blood out its body and its neck half off???
I swear if this was my first kill, I might not be able to ever do it again. I was only trying to do a necessary job and to save them from having to stay in mud. I hate making something suffer.

 

[Joel_BC]

Good reading here. (Laughing about the first one, not the unfortunate situation with the rooster.)

Thanks, Rhoda.

This is a nice thread you've started, and I didn't want to mess it up with a long story that - strictly speaking - wasn't my own. But I started another thread with the story I posted on it.

 

[rhoda_bruce]

Thanx. There are a few quite outta the ordinary stories told. I did read yours. You just can't explain some things.

 

[odd_duck99]

This story isn't all that wild in comparison to all of you, but I will tell it anyway.

I had never officially chopped wood before. We had a few limbs come down, and it was my day off, so I grew tired of seeing them laying there. I figured I would dispatch of them and make a nice wood pile for our summer fire pit habit - "wouldn't the spouse adore me" I thought! They weren't all that bad, maybe 3-4 in across at the widest point.

So I got to it in my usual style of trial and error. I thought I remembered that it was easier if you braced the log on something, so I used another branch. This worked ok until I got towards the end. At this point the two stick/logs (about 2.5 in across) were bouncing a little with every swing. At some point the bracing log bounced up and crossed over the one I was trying to break. I kept going... ... and as I swung the ax I had that feeling that I really should have stopped and fixed this particular problem. Sure enough, that log came up and whacked me right in the forehead. I was really lucky it didn't knock me out, hit my eye, etc. I did have a very nice goose egg on my forehead to explain when the spouse got home. I decided to brace the rest of them on a rock that was near by, and boy did that work better!

 

[Mattemma]

Yep...you guessed it~nephew was held by his feet and lowered into the sugar bowl to fetch out his most recent victim, crying all the while.

We never lost another roll.

Sweet! I am glad he followed through.

Flying pigs,lol. I wouldn't think a pig could jump that high.

As for the TSC poilet paper incident all I can think of is a seinfeld episode where the woman says"Can you spare a square?"

Good thing to keep a cell on us at all times! Now I gotta get back to reading......

Feeding the chicken to dh and the comment about the feeding him the dog-oh that was funny.All these stories are funny.Thanks everyone for sharing them!!!!!

 

[rhoda_bruce]

Just when I think I've heard it all.......
I was about to leave to bring DH his supper at work. And I'm having my annual Easter Chick sale, which funds a lot of my poultry projects the whole year.
Here comes an old schoolmate who needs chicks. Its kinda late, but she was desparate.
Apparently a friend has a child with cancer and he is now free and in remission, but is really bad off and weak.....well his mom wants to start doing everything natural.....live off the land, etc....no chemicals.
I wasn't expecting that today.
I've had chemotherapy patients come here for food, fearing the stores. I've had people buy chickens from me because they afraid to feed their wife, mom, sister.......store bought meats, but a 7 year old little boy...That was not at all what I thought I'd hear about today.
They wanted 5, including a rooster, because they were planning on starting small and saving eggs for hatching later, so I recommended the roo I would want for a small child, based on the chicken mom's breed. I talked shop a while to her. Sorry, guys.......this one is staying with me.

 

[rhoda_bruce]

Its been a while.
Well, I've been busy and my head too full of life's problems, so kinda scatter brain. I've had a hatch going on and among the babies are a few turkeys. So went check on the brooder a couple of days ago and I had a dead skeet and a sick one, so considering I was multitasking, I put the dead one in my pocket, held the live one, as well as other things I was transporting and went to the house.
Now FF to present time. I still recall putting the skeet in my pocket, but can't recall removing it to discard and my fear was that DD would do the clothes and scream because a dead baby mixed up in the laundry. Never did hear her complain or scream, so in my mind I may have still had the skeet in my pocket. Only thought of it when I was super busy though and never had time to check out my fears. I went to my closet and checked my pockets of the pants I had been wearing. The skeet isn't there. Apparently I was crazy busy and tended it somehow and just can't remember discarding the skeet, but it wasn't in my pocket.
As much as I have simplified my life, by giving up full-time employment to devote to my family, I still have too much crazy.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

ok, my story isn't all that great, but it's the ONE story that I never forget.

Many, many years ago I had my first batch of chickens. They had the run of the place and they found many and varied places to lay their eggs. It was like an egg hunt every day. One day I found a nest that had close to a dozen eggs in it. I was so excited! I picked up the first egg and looked at it very closely... I even went so far as to give it the 'sniff' test.... At that very moment this egg chose to BLOW UP in my face. Imagine the horror of ROTTEN egg in your eyes, your nose and yes - even your mouth. You never forget that... UGH!

I am so much more careful now with surprise nests!

 

[Denim Deb]

Since this didn't happen to me, . But I can just image.