well the Full Moon of the Bat Sh!tcrazy Goat has passed.... but not without incident.
so.
all y'all know that i'm not a goat snuggler. or goat smoocher. Sunny was so happy to get back to her home herd because no one here kissed her. altho the dog really wanted to...but more in a "he aint lickin' you, goat - he's TASTING you" kinda thing. pretty much the goats get a pat on the head and are told "good work" and thats all the luvin they get. and really i only expect a few things from them:
1. milk. a lot. and stand there quietly when the milking is happening. i'll give you whatever snacks you want just stand there and let me milk.
2. come when i call you - almost always to the milking stand or for some special snacks
3. be QUIET. which is why i like the la manchas and probably will never have a nubian despite the fact they fulfill Goat Requirement #1 very well.
so
last nite there i was doing the evening chores alone. and there was Debbie the goat.
1. she didnt have any milk - Dahlia'd already stolen it.
2. she didnt come when i called her. so i had to go and get her.
and just so's ya know... "not coming when i call you" - for dogs and goats - is a pretty bad offense. in fact, with the dogs - if they dont come to me by the time i've called 3 times... or heaven forbid, i have to go and get my shoes on to go find them... they'd better run FROM me.
so i picked up the leash and went after Debbie who smirked and really thought she was something else.
*cut to scene.. OFG hot stepping that goat directly to the milkstand at a fast pace, goat slightly wild eyed, on a short leash*
then... THEN.... she wouldnt get up on the stand. and was stomping all around - while my little ducklings, my sweet little duck momma, AND one of my setting hens were right there! i thought she was gonna stomp on my hen! so i growled at her to "get on that stand or i will end you right now."
she got on the stand.
there was a slight wrestling match over whether she was or was not going to put her head in the stanchion. turned out she WAS. she stood there snorting and not eating.
me: i dont care if you eat or not, missy.
she didnt.
then when we were done she pretty much she ran right back to the gate, and once inside the yard she did that crazy bucking, twisting, flipping and kicking up her heels thing. fine. whatever. but she kept it up for a while and had Nibbles on the run. if they ever get too sporty i just give them a common enemy and bring the dog in to settle them down. but the dog was on the deck so i figured i'd just let them goats work it out.
me: Run Nibbles run!
so then came the part of the show where everyone has to go into the goat house. i was getting the water buckets ready and then here comes Debbie, head down, ridge high... right. for. me.
now the last time she did this i just spread out my arms wide, puffed myself up as big as i could...and said something like, "take a swing muthawhatdidshesay"...and Deb just sidled off....
but this time... she was tossing her head and kicking.... still coming right at me.
so i took evasive action.
i threw a bucket of water on her.
Debbie looked like i threw napalm on her.
me: I could do this all day. Who's next?
cuz i did in fact have more buckets.
from behind me, up on the deck, i heard cheering from the dogs and Kai begging "paaaahlllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeze let me have her!!!!!"
Debbie shook like a dog then looked at me again...
me, brandishing another bucket: you want a fresh one?
then there was that moment of truth where either you are or are not in control of the situation.... we stared each other down... me, Cool Hand Luke... her, crazy goat.....i raised an eyebrow....
and she turned and ran directly into the goat house.
so who knows whats going to happen today. i'm just glad that the Moon of the BatSh!t Crazy Goats is over. i'm about to breed her just so she'll knock off all the funny business. either milking will or will not go well today - but you can bet the dog will be sitting right beside me.
anyway. thats whats going on here. happy wednesday folks!
