Beekissed said:
eggs4sale said:
I used to get told I looked like Meg Ryan, but now I look like Meg after a rough 20-year crack addiction.
If I paint my nails, I feel like I have olives on my fingertips.
I can't sing, can't whistle, can't outrun a bear, and can't understand why people don't send me money.
Now, as for YOU guys, I know Merle looks like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-IJxTd8dCo
I picture BeeKissed and Wifezilla looking like fairy godmothers. Is that weird?
Kinda like Glinda the Goodwitch, ironically.
OFG, I picture you looking like a rich, slender country club lady with a flask in your purse and a pill addiction. Am I right???
Wildsky I've seen on BYC, so that would be cheating, but I always think of the Halloween avatar when I think of you.
Most everyone I imagine making apple pie.
Hilarious!!!!
Actually...speaking of witches....I found an old straw broom at work the other day. I told one of my co-workers that they had issued us company cars to drive and she got to take out the first one that day! She was quite surprised and pleased...until I showed her the broom. She called me a few choice words.
I asked her, "What? Can't drive a stick shift?"
Your gonna love this story Bee..........
About 7-8 years ago, a neighbor/friend stopped by to shoot the breeze. He hadn't been here 2... maybe 3 minutes....we were still standing out in the driveway, when his (soon-to-be X) wife comes rolling into the drive, slides to a stop, hops out and commences to chew on his backside. And I do mean CHEW! She never said hello, kiss my butt, or NOTHING before her meal began! The main jist of the topic was the fact he had stopped in at our place on his way home, instead of heading straight to their house, so of course she never took the time to say hello to ME.
Being one to never let an opportunity slip away
I put on my best "studying" look, and slowly walked around her,"studying" her backside and legs, then kinda walked around the front side, still "studying" her lower extremities. She finally noticed that was kinda staring at her, and asked me "WTH are YOU looking for?"
In the nicest, sweetest voice I could muster(without busting out laughing!) I said...... "That broom you rode in in. Where the h e l l did you hide it?"
If there was way on Gods Green Earth, that she could have launched lightning bolts out of her eyes, I would have been a dead man.
Red faced and without saying another word, she got back in her car and, slinging gravel all the way, she headed home.
My buddy stared at me, in disbelief at what had just happened, and then called me a rotten little SOB, just before we both started rolling on the ground, laughing our keisters off!!
Not saying she was a bad lady, but, his divorce went rather smoothly. He got to keep the house and the kids remained with him as well. SHE had to pay HIM child support!!
Edited for spelling. I haven't had my first cup of coffee yet.
